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I feel so bad !
So about a month ago I went to this summer camp for violin and so during the camp, I hooked up with my teachers son 2 nights in a row who is like 6 years older than me ( I'm 17 he's 23) . What made me feel bad afterwards was that I have known this guy for the longest time of my life( I've taken lessons with his mom ever since I was 5 years old ) ... Although we never talked until that time at camp I just felt like it was so weird you know ? Especially since my teacher is like my aunt to me ! And like I only did it because I felt lonely and haven't been feeling wanted for a while and because of my raging hormones ! So when I did it with him I felt so dirty and sick of myself cause I never imagined myself doing that with someone I didn't love. I felt hollow and empty . But the thing was that I think the guy may have started developing feelings cause when we got back from camp he would message me to come over to his place and chill. I didn't answer his message but then he kept messaging and so then I told him off that I didn't want anything to do with him and that what happened was just a one time thin and that I would gladly like if he could just leave me alone . And so after that he was like fine. I just wante to keep my options open you know ? This will be the last time you'll ever hear from me . And then after that me befriended me on Facebook and I just feel so bad and terrible ! I don't like him ... But I just feel like i may have been too harsh ! The thought that we may still bump into each other cause I'm still taking lessons with his mom kinda makes me feel a bit antsy! Should I be feeling bad ?! Although my other friends say that I can never please everyone all the time and that i shouldn't feel bad and that I had to make myself clear , I would like other people's honest perspective of the whole situation
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You should not feel bad wanting to avoid him for the reasons you gave. Smart girl!!!
There's a good chance that the reason he wanted to get in touch with you after camp so quickly was because he has raging hormones too, not because he likes you as a person. Any guy who gets to have sex with a gal, is going to give a good try to keep that avenue open so he has a steady sex partner. Can't blame him for that...if thats what both people want...its fine.
But what you experienced was just sex, not making love as it would be with someone where both of you are in love with each other.
That will explain why you feel so terrible.
Its normal to be so horny but until you turn 18, it's best not to get any guy involved in a sexual relationship, even if its someone you truly care about, because of the statutory rape factor.
Until of age, you'll have to rely on masturbation...i know...it's okay but not that great compared to having a live male body but your do what you have to do.
Once you are 18, if you decide that you need sex bad enough that you have a male friend, someone okay you're friends with but not someone you'd care to marry....just be upfront with the guys and let them know ahead of time that you are only looking for friends with benefits, not to date them steady or be in a relationship with. If that is what you decide, then you'll be okay with it and not feel dirty and bad because it is an agreement that you entered into of your own choice for just that reason. Theres nothing wrong with that. Good luck dear.
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You shouldn't feel bad. You were completely honest about what happened. It seems like he wants some more action and he's clearly not getting the hint that it was a one time thing.
Like your friends said, you can't make everyone happy. But it's important to keep yourself happy first.
So don't feel weird if you see him around from time to time. I mean, it's a lesson learned.
So just let this one go and hopefully he'll just have to see that you're not interested. If he starts messaging you on Facebook, don't answer and block him if you want.
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You were not too harsh. You were honest and direct with him.
It's more important to be clear, than to be nice. Your friends are right: Sometimes you can't be both.
Do yourself a favour and block him on Facebook - just incase he isn't getting the message.
And Shine On! Its great that you had the strength and knowledge of your own feelings to be this direct at your age. Most women I know hit their thirties not knowing how to say "No." to men who pursue them, but they are not interested in.
Don't feel too bad. You might not have handled this perfectly, but you didn't muck it up that badly either. Maybe next time you'll find a better balance between being nice and being clear, but when rejecting someone, it's always much more important to be clear.
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