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What the heck?!
I was doing laundry and the laundry facility is on the outaide of my apartment building. Some dude around my age was locked out if the building behind me and said "Hi" in the distance and I said Hi back. Then he scratched his his head and asked if I lived in the building and I said yes. So he asked if we wanted to go inside and hang out and I turned down his offer because I dont know him. Then he looked at me and said "ohh you have a boyfriend?" And i responded uhh yeah lol..
What was he thinking? Was he flirting? ... Or just a whacko?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Adviceman49 here: My two cents worth on the words creepy and creep used by Razhie. Those words have a place in our language. Based on what was written in this question the word creepy is appropriate. That being so the word creep to describe the person being creepy is also appropriate. Mr. Wombat needs to go back and review English 101. Creepy is a descriptive word justifying the word creep.
I think you did the right thing in this instance. Given everything going on today with sexual predators it is always a good idea for women to steer clear of men they do not know. Better to be safe than sorry.
I would say most men today looking to meet someone would first introduce themselves. If he lived in your building or complex he would say so. This would give you an opportunity to judge if he is safe or check him out at the rental office to see if he is who he says he is.
You really didn't know if he was locked out or if he was trying to gain entrance for the wrong reasons. It is always best to keep your guard up around people you don't know be you male or female. It is an unfortunate sign of the times we live in.
The one thing I could suggest is if it ever happens again with him or someone else. Call the police and let them check him out. You never know you may just save someone's life or property.
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According to Rahzie, a guy who tries to approach a woman and doesn't do a good job of it is a creep. Sigh. Then they get to 30 and ask "where have all the good men gone"? They just gave up trying, Rahzie, they just gave up trying.
But having said that - yeah, he could have been a thief looking to get access to the building. Could have been a lot of things.
Does it matter?
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He might have meant to be flirting, but he was just a wacko and a creep. It's totally rude and threatening to ask a young women on the street to come up to her room.
If you have security in your building, you should let them know about this person. If you see him approaching other women outside the building, you should call the cops.
This is threatening what he is doing. Just because he's sane enough to back off when you say no doesn't make this behaviour okay. If he wanted to meet new girls or hook up with strangers - that's what bars and dating sites are for - there are tons of non-wacko ways to do that. If he doesn't know that hovering outsides people's home means people will fairly assume he is a thief, a murderer or a rapist, then someone (like a police officer) needs to tell him as much and to get moving. He won't get charged with anything, but he will be given the message and get on the police radar in case some foolish girl gets stollen from, raped or killed.
EDIT IN RESPONSE TO MrWombat.
I'm deeply offended by having my comments being misrepresented in the way you did and your decision to insult me personally. I'm proud, as a member of this site, to say that columnists here normally hold themselves to a much higher standard of behaviour. Your interpretation of both my comments, and this situation, are also way off base: As much as you might like to imagine this is about some sort of misandry, you are wrong, this is actually case of a stranger engaging in threatening and unacceptable behaviour, regardless of the genders of the individuals involved.
This person did not simply 'approach a woman poorly' he approached complete stranger in a situation where that approach was INHERENTLY threatening - right outside their home - and requested an intense and immediate level of intimacy - he didn't ask her name or her number - he asked to be allowed into their private residence.
It is perfectly fair (even reasonable, as you also admitted in your advice) to label a threatening approach as a very negative behaviour. I understand 'creepy' is a gendered insult, and I should have avoided that word, but the use of the word doesn't make my comments any less correct or make your deeply gendered insults against my age and my relationship status acceptable. You accused me of sexism (and I'm more than happy to admit the word 'creep' should be avoided and I should not have used it) and then turn around and made discriminatory comments yourself.
Context is important. The context is what makes this approached inherently threatening, and entirely inappropriate.
And to answer your final question: Yes. I think it matter when someone tries to get access to my apartment building in this way. Yes, I think it matters when someone behaves in a very threatening manner in my neighbourhood.
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What a strange encounter.
It sounds like he was flirting a little but also trying to get in the building maybe?
You may need a guy's opinion on this one. But maybe he just thought you were pretty or something and thought he would ask you to hang out. Hey, you never know if someone is going to turn you down unless you ask.
He sounds a little bit awkward, but he doesn't sound like a whacko. If he backed off when you said you had a boyfriend then at least he respects that.
It was probably a good idea to turn down the offer though, you never know what someone you don't know is capable of!
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