|
Would it be wrong to have sex with my ex?
well im female/19.
Me and my ex boyfriend are still in contact were still friends, and well we have them conversations where we always talk about the past, like we bring up memories and our sexual experiences together..
we've spoke about us having sex again, he was the last guy i had sex with to be honest.. and well we both want to do it would it be wrong? cause inside it's something i really want to do and i would o it over and over again, like i know it would be just sex but since he's my ex we both know what we like, and I have that feeling that by us having sex feelings would be there he once said it himself..
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I don't know what "wrong" means in this context. It depends on why you broke up.
But yeah, it will mean that you are back on again. Most people agree that sex with the ex is a bad idea. Why not hook each other up with a friend?
]
Well difficult situation. What do you think? If you know it's just sex, nothing more than sure go ahead if you'd like. But you should know it's "just sex" nothing more, and it shouldn't lead to nothing more either. So don't be heartbroken and crazy and sad because your ex you decided to hook up with doesn't want anything more.
Obviously sex happens to bring up past feelings since it's a emotional and exciting thing. But don't be so hopeful, just go in prepared, emotionally. But sex shouldn't make you two date again, that means you're basing it off a one time feeling in the bed, and regular basis sex. That's not what you want right? You want a relationship where the guy values you for your opinions and interests not your physical attributes?
Either way, be prepared, or if you know you'll expect more, don't even go. Good luck, hope the best for you xo
]
I think it'd e wrong if he was in another relationship or you were in another relationship. If that's not the case, then it's not exactly wrong.
Although if you still have feelings for him, then don't do it. That could just lead to disappointment and heartbreak. But if you are just in it for sex and looking for nothing else, then it's fine.
]
no
]
I would say the only thing wrong would be if he was considering this while committed to dating another girl.
So if he is in a relationship, don't disturb that by having sex.
I think you are basically asking that if you know that there's lack of interests preventing you from getting together again as a couple, is it ethical that you both as friends just have sex together?
Yes. Many adult women who haven't found the perfect guy to settle down in a life time committed relationship with, will have friends with sexual benefits. To have sex with someone, it is a given that there is a certain level of attraction, enough to have sex but not enough compatibiltiy necessarily to be in a solid relationship. Between my divorce and before I found my 2nd husband, I dated guys who were only friends for sex a and they knew that. It is healthy to have a sexual outlet even when not in a committed relationship and for some of us, masturbating just doesnt cut it.
Now you are the only one who knows why the two of you broke up in the first place. Was it simply due to your age? Think back . . . did you have some things about him that you couldn't stand, where you pushed each others buttons and became angry over little things even when you weren't trying to piss off each other? Things like that are a lack of chemistry as friends and a couple needs both chemistry as friends and sexually to have a solid foundation for a relationship. If the two of you had troubles due to both of you acting immature, perhaps theres a chance for more.
Like I said, only you will know the real reasons.
So if there are some strong reasons why you couldn't be long term as a couple, then the kind of feelings you have from having sex (everybody gets those feelings, the heart gets involved) those feelings aren't enough for a full fledged relationship. Many couples however try to make it work so many that we think it is a normal healthy relationship cus we see it everywhere. But honey, its not normal and healthy and those relationships eventually break up. The amount of people who divorce as friends simply cus they weren't right for each other is higher than the few who fought all the time and tried to verbally or physically hurt each other or totally ignore each other.
If he and you were perfect for each other in all ways and he or you or both freaked at the intensity of your feelings and didn't want to settle into a long term committed relationship that early... then it would be a perfect thing to try to get back together with him since you both seem to want it.
He may be wanting a friend with benefits only with you and you might be hoping for the rest of the relationship to come back. If that's the case, your heart will be broken. But that is part of life, we can't hide behind a wall in life to prevent heartaches cus if we do, we might miss out on the good stuff. So if you go into this knowing your heart could be broken and are still willing, then do so. But you can not blame him or verbally abuse him if he isn't as committed to you if the agreement between you originally is to get back together just as sex partners. If its meant to be, the rest of the relationship will develope, but having sex again isn't a guarantee that will happen.
]
I agree with the person that wrote you the first time. None of us should be telling you who to have sex with because its not are place to, its only yours. Though what I will tell you is this you are 19 and an adult now who gets to make her own decisions. If you decide to have sex with him, and only sex, you are the one who is bound to have more feelings. There is something in women that triggers us to attach ourselves to the person we sleep with. And I'm not talking about emotionally, I mean biologically. We can't help it. I just will say be safe, if you choose to go down that road.
Lillian Garvin
]
I don't think it is right for any of us to say if you should have sex with your ex or not. Sex is a very personal thing something you need to decide for yourself.
What I will say, based on your last sentence, is if you build a relationship built on sex alone you are building a relationship on quicksand. There needs to be more to a relationship[ then good sex. At some point you will find the need to talk to each other and find you have nothing in common or that your ideals are opposite. This may be the reason you are no longer in a relationship together.
In short I think what I'm saying is that getting back together because you're horny is probably not the best of reasons. Just my thoughts on the matter.
]
More Questions: |