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Can he change?
So say there's this guy, and he's like 23.
He's said that he has never dated anyone ever in his entire life and says that he is focusing on school. But then say you find out from a close source of him that he's a player and just wants to have fun. Not only that, he has done many one night stands and hook ups.. And that he has also one time hooked up with this girl and was seeing this girl for awhile afterwards but then that girl was already taken by another man but he knew but he still did it anyways cause he felt that she could've been the one... But it didn't work out anyways and has gone back to his old ways!
Anyways point of this question is do you think a guy like that could ever change his ways and be serious and be committed like say in the future? Getting it all out of his system ..
Or do you think he could never be changed and that if he ever did finally settle down , do you think he would cheat later on cause he would miss the wild single life ?
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Well it's not impossible. But it's a really low chance.
A lot of women get into relationships with "bad boys" thinking they can change them. Then they realize that you can't change anyone, they can only change themselves.
So if he wants to change, yes he can. But he doesn't, then he won't.
If you did get together with him hoping he'll change, it's not a good idea. But if he does show you that it's different, then fine. But don't get into the relationship thinking you can help him change.
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This definitely wouldn't be my idea of a perfect boyfriend.
Once someone geta used to a certain lifestyle, It is hard to break the habit. I am not saying it's impossible but in order for him to change he would need to want too. Someone who has a history of being a player woild probably be a potential cheater and may very well have issues with committing to a relationship.
This giy had contact with a girl knowing she had a boyfriend but did it anyway. Meaning, He agreed to the cheating.
I would pass
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Most humans don't like change and so most of the time they do not change for the better in their life.
No one else can change them or influence a change in them. Some people change a little, maybe they learn a lesson in one area and grow up a little but most people may very little changes to their character. So you have to assume that the person you consider dating or marrying is going to be exactly as you know them to be at the beginning.
About the thought of "getting it out of his system" what does that phrase say to you about his character right now? Here, I'll help...it means he is focused only on gratifying the self...no room in his value system for thinking of and putting the other person first, of wanting to uphold and support another person. There are always trouble signs out there, They are subtle sometimes so you have to learn how to look for them or what you are looking for. So is there really such a thing as getting enough of it else where so a person can remain monogamous and faithful after? What is this magical quota or number of conquests that will make him want to be faithful to one woman? I think you know the answer to that. He will always think he is missing something. On the side, you have to consider also the character and values and moral character of the person you are getting any information from that it is not distorted. If a close friend of his tells you this but engages in the same activity...his own testimony comes into question. Why would he tell on a buddy doing the same. Now if it is family who tells you, they most likely know him the best and have nothing to gain or lose from telling you the truth
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It's really hard to tell. I've always heard "once a cheater, always a cheater" but I don't exactly believe that. I think eventually he'll be able to settle down, but now is not the right time. I don't know what else to say besides anything can happen.
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