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I am 13 and I my parents are divorced. I dont like how dad is treating me.
Ok so when i was born my real dad signed rights off on me and my dad adopted me. Now that my mom and dad are divorced i dont like how my dad is treating me. I would rather stay at my real dads house rather than my dads house. What should i do? My dad has actually hit me a few times. I dont want to hurt his feelings but i dont want to live where i am getting hurt. What do i do? I am only 13 so i dont know what i can do. Please help.
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Dear Asker,
Firstly, there is always something you can do ;)
Secondly, I am one of four brothers and a twin myself. I grew up in a household with a very violent father. We would often get hit or threatened or have to witness things like my mom being hit. As someone who has experienced the kind of fear and intimidation that being abused brings, I really want to say that you can, and should do something about your situation.
It seems clear that you love your adoptive dad and that is cool, but it doesn't mean you are his punching bag, either physically or emotionally. As a father myself, I would NEVER hit my children with a hand or a fist. I'll spank them if they are naughty, but children are to be loved and discipline is meant to encourage and enforce your love for your children.
There is absolutely no excuse for him hitting you, especially at your age. I hope and pray I'll never have to spank my children after they turn 5!
So, what to do? Well, I can't really tell how bad things are from your question. BUT, doing nothing is the worst thing you can do! I would look on the net for some child helplines and call someone. There are load of people who will talk to you. Most helplines are free and they won't want your name or anything, they will just help you work it out and decide on a course of action sensibly. Covenant House is a great one: 1-800-786-2929, or Childline in the UK: 0800 1111.
DO get some help and I hope, hope things turn out well for you. *hugs*
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Tell your mother what happened and let her go through the proper channels so that he can be disciplined for it and perhaps a judge can limit contact, ask for supervision, etc.
No matter the circumstance he has no right to strike you. Your mom should know or a trusted adult who can address this. His feelings quite honestly need to take a backseat to wrong doing.
It's clear he doesn't know how to parent a teenager but hitting you no matter what you did isn't acceptable in society. Tell your mom about it and see if it brings changes on a positive level.
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If school is still in session then I suggest you talk with a trusted teacher or your school principal. If your dad is hitting you for non disciplinary reasons or in places he should not be hitting you at all. Then the school has procedures in place to follow to keep you safe.
If school has already let out for the summer you can go to any fire or police station as they are safe havens for children. Since it may be easier to go to a neighborhood fire station then go there. If like many fire stations in this country yours is a volunteer station and no fire fighters are on duty. On the front of the station near a door will be a red box. In side the box is a phone connected directly to the emergency dispatch center.
Use this phone to tell the dispatcher why you have come to the fire station. The dispatcher will then page for a crew to come to the station or send a paid crew to the station to care for you until the proper help can be contacted.
If you are in immanent danger from your dad such that he is harming you or has harmed you. Then call 911. Police will come to you.
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