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I'm growing apart from my bff who i've known for 8 years.
I have a bff who is 2 years younger than me. I'm 13 and she's just turned 11. Recently she's been acting obsessed with me and always wants to get her way. I've noticed this, and as you can imagine, it's put me off hanging out with her so much. She's just so judgmental and boring. She'll never do anything fun and new, she just wants to shop and watch boring movies in which are too mature for her, this gives her the idea that she is older than she really is, though she can act like a right old brat at times. I started hanging out with my other friend, who's my age, a lot more, and i love it, it has made me notice how much i hate hanging out with my bff. I need some advise on how to slowly become less attached to the hip with her, in a wat which won't be too obvious to her. Also, what can i do to slyly show her i'm changing? so that she can see we're growing apart. thanks!!
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
First you need to make sure that not being friends with her anymore is something you really want.She is going through a very confusing time and so are you. both of you are going to be changing alot in the next five years and you don't want to make a decision now based on this phase that both of you are in. Give it time. you might be right and you may need to move on. But if you aren't you wouldn't want to ruin what could potentially and eventually be one of the most important relationships in your life. Give it time.
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I think our friend below nailed it on the head. She's entering puberty, trying to act more grown up than she is etc.
Her "obsession" with you likely is happening because she doesn't have someone else or other friends aren't accepting of sudden changes in her behavior.
Therefore, she's clinging to the one friend who hasn't left her and inadvertently pissing you off. What you need to do is understand how awkward she feels and talk to her about changes you like in her and that which turns you and others off and tell her to work on those things to improve her social status.
Let her know that you want to be her friend but can't be there 24/7 as it's not fair to either of you. You have to be blunt with her that you know she doesn't intentionally mean to appear bratty or judgmental but that's what people around her at school are seeing.
Maybe encourage her to talk to a counselor at school about social skills, changes, how she appears to others etc. That would do more good than harm. Maybe she trusts you and is just lonely and without anyone else who "gets her".
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Hello again sweetie
You see, An average friendship generally last between 5-7 years.
If you feel you both are growing apart and should move on then maybe try weaning off by talking to her less and less. Each time she approches you, Stick with small talk. (Hi hiw are you etc) Don't get personal with her anymore. Usually when someone tries to move on from someone they don't initiate the conversation.
Another option is to be honest with her. Although there is no nice way to tell someone you don't want to be friends, You could explain to her that you feel you two are growing apart. It could just be a matter of age and maturity. Perhaps you are mature and she is still yet to hit puberty.
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