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How should i move on with my life?
I'm a 20 year old girl. I broke up with my boyfriend 2 years ago. He cheated on me and tried to date my friend. But when i was in a relationship with him, i think i did love him, and expressed my emotions, cried aand poured my heart out. But he cheated on me, its been two years and at some point i remember him, and i think i miss him. And i knw its wrong, coz my bestfriend reminds me of what he did. And this thought of missing him hurts me, i get lost and at times need the feel of being isolated, and currently when ppl care, i just can't trust them. Its like i'm stuck in between. And i know for a fact that he's never returning back, its like i'm still waiting. I don't want to wait, i wish i can move on. Is there anything i can do?
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well I can honestly say i only have two methods for you.
1.try the earth technique it is where you sit on a chair with your back straight and think about what is holding you back and try and think of it as glue you need to try and pull yourself out of a situation.
2. you may just be feeling lonely because you were used to having a boyfriend around you for a long while then uddenly he cheats and leaves that could be the problem if so try and get a new boyfriend just make sure he is kind and caring.
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This isn't an insult but what you need at this point is professional help. A psychologist can help you figure out the issues that continue to hold you back and give you the coping strategies and ability to move forward rather than standing still and having this problem run your life.
Essentially you are in a swimming pool treading water and continually going under but have to reach for the pole to get out of the situation. Dealing with a professional on this and working out what's really holding you back is of the essence I mean it's been 2 years.
That's a very long time. You have to deal with the cheating and abandonment issues as it's driving your problem as well as inability to trust a sole. That last part ain't normal to be feeling.
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You need to move on, Change your aspect of thinking and come to terms with the fact that he isn't right for you. Cheater don't deserve second chances in my opinion. Cheating is betrayal, Dishonest and wrong. Are you really missing him or dwelling on the fact you were cheated on? Either way, You need to move on.
You do not miss them, You miss the thought of having someone around. Therefore you should try to meet someone new and right for you. Do not repeat an old pattern by allowing an asshole back into your life. Be stronger then that! Focus on your life and go out meet new people and leave old drama behind.
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It is normal to want to feel loved and wanted by someone. You got a taste of that before it went south.
You sound like you are past the crying and depression part but its just that he is on your mind all the time.
Don't worry about meeting anyone else right now or how you feel about a new guy and trusting or not.
What you need is to take your attention off all that other stuff and focus just on you. Get to know about yourself. Your subconsious is where your inner child lives. She also is the seat of all your feelings and emotions. Your sub also controls all involuntary functions such as reflex's, breathing, blinking of your eyes. She will be very interested in protecting you from further hurt. She can be what will hold you back from ever trusting anyone again to keep you from possibly being hurt. Remember, a child isn't always going to know the best decisions to make and could be very fearful. You basically need to talk to yourself and tell yourself you promise that the moment you see anything that reminds you of the qualities you did not like in the last guy, then you will back out..You have to reassure yourself, trust yourself to be able to catch the subtle clues earlier. 2 yrs was long enough to observe any inconsistencies when he took himself out of integrity. When I left my ex and began dating again...I found that people can keep a fake persona in place only a short time to lure someone into a relationship. The reason is that it takes a lot of personal energy going toward being someone they are not, so once they think they have you, they relax and show their real self. On the 3rd date with a really nice guy I was enjoying, i was invited to dinner at his house and he began to complain about his Asian maid not doing a good enough, cussing and cursing and calling her racist slurs. I finished dinner but never went back. That is not the kind of behavior I want to see in a guy even if not directed at me at the time because its only a matter of time he treats me the same. I was verbally abused. I learned what to look for. So take the time to meditate..think about what you have learned, give yourself some pep talks, do something fun and special for yourself. Once you feel secure again and know exactly what you are looking for in a guy, the right one will be attracted to you. People are attracted to confident, secure people. Its just a matter of time dear.
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