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my boyfriend lives 4212 miles away, i need to tell my mom...
F/high school age
my boyfriend lives in another country (4212 miles away). we've been together almost 3 months, we Skype everyday, and obviously we are an online relationship. i KNOW hes my soul mate.
..my mother is a strict christian lady and she has told me multiple times "no talking to strangers online" (as if i was 13!!) she always talks to me about molesters and men whom rape and hurt young woman and they draw them in through the internet,she asumes any guy on the internet is there to hurt girls (or something)
i know that if she met him she would love him,... but what do i say? how? shes a very loving person and she trusts me... but no guys on the internet... i know im in over my head, but if i didn't want to spend the rest of my life with this boy i wouldn't worry about telling her...
Well thank you for any help or advise you might have <3
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Before I can answer or would answer this question I need some information from you.
1. I need to know how old the two of you are.
2. You say; "know im in over my head, but if i didn't want to spend the rest of my life with this boy i wouldn't worry about telling her..." With this being your feeling and 4,000 miles between you; How do you see the two of you ever getting together?
3. Is he as committed to you as you feel you are to him? Are you sure?
The say distance makes the heart grow fonder and I am not going where your mother feels with internet relations as my son is now dating a very nice girl he met on the internet. Only difference they live 15 miles apart.
Not knowing you age I ask that you answer these questions for me, then write me back with your answers in a private message with your answers. Then I can help you with a proper answer.
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First of all how old is this boy? Is he your age? I'm sure mom will be much more at ease if he is your age then if you have some older boyfriend on the internet. Your mom has valid concerns, even adults get scammed by people on the internet you have to be very careful. If you really are serious and in love with this guy then don't worry about your mom not being on board with it right away. Time will tell and the truth with reveal it's self. It may be a slow process but she will eventually see that the age of technology has allowed relationships to be something they could never be before. And good people are finding legitimate soul mates and relationships online everyday. As for you being in high school and involved with a guy on line i have some advice for you in how to be careful and keep yourself safe.
First of all if he is much older then you be very careful!!!! Secondly, if you are doing anything sexual with him over skype tell him he has to have his mic on at all times and so do you. Sometimes people turn of their mic's and take pictures of you with out you knowing. You never know where you will be in the future and naked pictures of you on the internet could be very bad for your adult life.
Obviously don't ever give any financial information like credit cards or bank numbers no matter how in love you think you are!! If you don't know this guy in person it's strange that he would ask you for such things. If your online bf ever asks you for any financial information or your social security number you need to cut off contact completely.
Last, if he is ever in your area and you want to meet him. Do it in a public place and tell several people where you are going and how to reach you. It's even better if you have a friend to bring with you.
Take all these safety precessions tell mom that you are taking them. Give her time and be patient. As she watches you and this boy stay together she will come around and accept it.
Good luck
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Well this is a bit complicated.
I honestly don't think there is a way to change your mothers mind until she actually meets him, but you haven't even met him either so that can be a problem.
He could be the person he says he is, since you guys Skype, but if I had a daughter that was still in high school and she was talking to a boy she met through the internet, I wouldn't be ok with it. She has good reason to feel the way she does, which I know you realize.
I know some long distance relationships that last and I know some couples who met online and are now happy together but it's ten time harder when you don't really know him.
You don't really know a guy until you see him around his friends and his family. You only know what he tells you and how he acts towards you.
Anyways, if you do decide to continue this relationship, I don't think you can make your mother want to talk to him.
Since you haven't been with him for a very long time, I'm not sure if you guys are making plans for the future. I think by the time you guys are actually able to see each other, then maybe she'll come around.
In the end, respect your mother and her wishes. And be careful, obviously. I'm sure everything will be fine.
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Well, You probably don't want to hear this but I agree with Mom.
I truly believe you are not in love with him, You are in love with the thought of him. You cannot love someone you never met. On the other hand, People lie and pretend on the internet and while he may indeed be a person he says he is, Online relationships are a fantasy. Online relationships are not the real thing. You think he is your soul mate but you are hung up on the attention and are head over heels with knowing someone is giving you attention.
Let's be realistic, He is thousands of miles away. This man is a fantasy, The relationship is not real.
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