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I love him touching me... and I hate it too, but I can't say stop?
I'm 13, and social situations are hard for me. My mom wanted me to be more involved, so I joined art club. I like drawing well enough, and I made a few friends, the majority of which are boys, all of which are a grade below me. I read often, and care little what others think of me, so when one of my friends expressed interest in me, it wasn't easy for me to ignore. I thought he might actually really like me, but he was, to say the least, very sexual. Art club is only once a week, but when he asked me out after five weeks, it was as though I couldn't say no. I almost wanted to, but I said yes. My others friends didn't like him, but I was momentarily blinded. For the last three weeks or so, he's been touching my leg, higher and higher up, and I want to tell him to quit, but it's like I'm not able to say anything. To be honest, I like it, but I also hate it. Still being honest-while I'm with him, I'd probably do whatever he wants. I may be really young, but we're all human, and a lot of the good feelings I have when he touches me are sexual. I want to tell him to stop, that I'm not his girlfriend anymore, to stop winking and saying he loves me. But speaking has never been my strong spot. I can write this and say what I want, but trying to say them, well, it never sounds right. My sister hates him, says he flirts with every girl, all the time, and I don't know if she's lying this time. The stuff he says, it's really inappropriate, and I wish I said I didn't want to go out with him. My question? I am not sure. Possibly: What's wrong with me? What should I do? What should I say? What color are bananas? Ignore that last one.
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just stand up for yourself ok I may want the same thing but that short of time is short tell him to back off a little. and tell him what you think off it I know you can do it you just have 2 believe in yourself ok. hope we can be friends :)
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1) Start Masturbating. Teenaged years are a time of turbulent hormones and intense sexual drives. It's easier to stay sane if you take care of yourself. If you already do, do it more.
2) What he's doing is wrong. Ugh I hate bringing out this topic with a girl your age...
Do you know anything about rape? One of the most common things that fucks with women who suffer through that specific scenario is that their bodies often become aroused when it happens. It is not overly uncommon for a woman who is raped to have an orgasm. The end result is a ton of anguish as they feel like their own body betrayed them.
What you feel is a physical response to physical touch. It's not because you like him (obviously) but because some part of you just wants to be touched.
That's normal, not your fault, but it's also absolutely not justification to let him continue or to feel like you should let him continue. Touch yourself, tell him to go fuck himself.
3) Bring someone in on this if you can't get the words out. A friend, your sister, an adult. Someone who you can talk to quietly when the pressure is off who can tell him to leave you alone.
4) Avoid him. Don't sit next to him. If he comes to sit next to you move. Tell him to leave you alone. Who cares if it sounds wrong. "Stop it" is two words. "Go away" is two words. "Leave me alone" is three. You don't have to explain yourself. You don't owe him anything. Just make it clear that you want him to stay away, and take action to make sure he stays away.
I think Dragonfly is right. This kid has targeted you. He knows you'll let him.
Do you know what predators fear most? Attention.
So the next time he tries to touch you, take his hand off of you and tell him to stop it. If he tries again, do the same thing and raise the volume enough that people nearby are going to hear you say it. If you have to deal with it a third time in a row, use a volume that everyone in the room is going to hear very clearly and consider changing "stop it" to "stop touching me you fucking creep"
You seem shy, I'll bet that idea seems scary to you. It's scarier for him. Outing him in front of the entire class is his worst case scenario. Even better, if you do end up screaming at him and telling him to leave you alone, the next girl in that class he tries is going to feel more confident in stopping him herself.
5) Yeah you are young. An adult would be better equipped to assert herself in this situation. You're not an adult, but you still need to assert yourself.
Do not let people do things you don't want them to do to you. Do not let people you don't like do things to you that you might wish someone else was doing.
And again, seriously, go take care of yourself so you're not dealing with those urges all the time. It's healthy, it's normal, and it'll help immensely with dealing with guys like this if you're not especially worked up before they start in.
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You are fighting yourself on this. Your conscious self or awake self wants to experience sex because it feels good but your sub conscious or inner child is afraid and doesnt want to be hurt. She wants the sexual experience to be with some one who cares for her for more than just her body. Your conscious self is ignoring that fact.
To be direct, this guy has targeted you. He didn't ask you because he thought you were a very special person or for your looks or because he's in love with you...he chose you because he is a predator, yes at his young age...somehow he has learned to observe who the weak females are who have no fight in them and can't stand up for themselves because they will be the ones easiest to have sex with and gratify his sexual needs. He is NOT at his age going to care about making it pleasurable for you, in fact it's highly unlikely at his age that he has a f**king clue. If your friends and sister don't like him...there's something very wrong about him. Women have great intuition and it sounds like theirs is starting to work. He's looking for someone easy to control. Don't stay with him. Don't let him have what he wants and don't let him control you. Do you know that one out of every 4 girls who gets into a relationship with a guy gets beat up by them? Not saying he's capable but there is a chance of that. If you can't find some back bone to say no then you are going to end up a very miserable young lady.
Kids are having sex at younger and younger ages where their minds haven't developed enough to be able to make good decisions yet. Your mind wont get there until into your twenties. I know its unfair and thats why you're having trouble with knowing how to deal with this. You might enjoy a site that attracts teens and young adults on you tube. Its about sex and dating and more. Every possible question you can come up with, likely is covered there. Very informative and the gal who runs the channel is a lively perky young lady named Lacigreen. Look for her. I know adults who are learning things from her. Please check her out, tell your girl friends about her. I have never been so into promoting anything or anyone but this one is definitely worth it.
I hope everything turns out ok for you
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You already know you're not ready for any of this. You can't keep going along with whatever he wants because it's not fair to you and you aren't going to enjoy it completely until you are ready.
You have to gain the courage to say no. Write him a note if you have to. It might be the cowardly way out but it's better than doing what you're doing right now.
You're not his puppet. You don't have to do everything he wants so put a stop to it. This is your life and you don't deserve this stuff. Tell him no.
Practice it if you have to. After you break up with him, then you have to start working on saying no because honestly, you can't go through life saying yes to anything and everything.
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What you want is very important. In fact, it's pretty much everything that matters when it comes to sexuality. If you aren't comfortable with it, you don't have to and probably shouldn't do anything.
Figure out exactly what you want to say to him and say it. It's really hard, but it's sooo much better than the alternative. If you have to, close your eyes or don't look at him when you say it. Rehearse what to say. Hell, write him a letter, email, phone call. All these things will be better for you than doing what you aren't yet comfortable doing.
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