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humorist-workshop
I think my teacher is flirting?
This is about my female teacher and I'm a female too.
sometimes i have caught her looking at me.Sometimes when we look at each other, either she looks away quickly or I have to break eye contact.
When she is teaching, 90% of the time she is looking at me.
When she makes a joke, or makes fun of a student in our class (when I say makes fun of someone, I don't mean that she's mean to the student.) she always looks at me after and smiles.
One time our class had to bring something for a shared lunch, and most of the boys forgot to bring something, so the teacher said to them that they had to sing a song, so the boys asked what song, and then the teacher said "girls just wanna have fun" then straight away she looked at me...
I brought cupcakes (I know, cupcakes are for younger people, not people in highschool, but it's the only thing I could bring lol) and the teacher had one, then I saw her take a bit of icing off of her cupcake and lick it off of her finger while looking at me then she smiled...like trying to be sexy?
Sometimes when the bell goes, she stands by the door and when I walk past, our bodies touch. There is plenty of room for her to move but she just stands there and obviously doesn't mind our bodies touching? (I'm too shy to say excuse me...)
One time she stopped talking to someone just to say bye, have a nice weekend to me.
When we were in the school library once, she sat next to me. Out of all of the free tables and chairs she sat next to me.
One time when this boy sat next to me, half way though the lesson she comes over to our table sits down next to the boy, and asks the boy why he's sitting next to me.
I don't know I'm just confused, what do you think? What's your opinion?
And I understand the never have a relationship with a teacher thing.
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Hi. I am seeing this a week later. Hope I can add something helpful. Someone else mentioned the same thing I thought that maybe you remind her of herself at that age or of someone else, a kid sister, etc... All the things you mentioned could mean something is up with her concerning how she is treating you, and perhaps not.
If it gets to the point that your ability to do well in your grades in class are affected by it, it is time to make an appointment with your school counselor and let them know your wish to be transferred to a different teachers class. They may not want to do so without good reason, just say it's an extreme personality conflict and that it is affecting your grades. They still may not do it but its worth a try. If you are too shy to say excuse me, then likely you are too shy to go to a school counselor. Maybe one of your life lessons is to learn to not be so shy...i know it was for me. I was painfully shy as a child. It wasn't until high school I decided I was sick and tired of being so shy and asked God for help.
If you are ready to work on that, heres how:
1. Every day smile at people as you pass them. (OH my, they might start a conversation with me, that's scary!) Do it until you can do so without feeling uncomfortable anymore. There is no timetable in which you need to complete this...go at your own pace.
2. Once step 1 is mastered you add one little thing, smile and say Hi as you walk past or see people. (Oh, that's even more threatening...I spoke a word so they might really start talking to me.) Funny thing is most people never did talk to me, the few that made a comment, I could nod my head and just smile in answer. Keep doing this until you no longer have fears of people maybe starting convo with you.
3. This next one is a bit more challenging. Repeat the other steps, smile, say hi and then...make a short comment. ie "I saw your doodling, you're a great artist." "I really like your shoes, or necklace". People will smile and say thanks. Only sometimes do they volunteer more info like, "I got the necklace from my older sister for my birthday." You don;t have to make another comment to what was volunteered. Thats its. Keep doing this until you are finally comfortable with this.
4. Theres more??? Yes. LOL Now you progress to having a conversation and you are the one who starts it. And further more, you choose a total stranger to talk to. The easiest way is when you are out at the mall, any store. You might be looking for something for real or just looking for fun. Notice who else is there. At the same clothing rack, pull an item out and say 'excuse me, have you seen any more of this style is size small, med large...whatever pertains to you. If she says no and nothing else. Try another comment, "I always have a hard time finding clothes I like, don't you?" That will likely get a response from her. Practice a couple of comments back and forth until you are comfortable with it, and the next thing you'll realize is that you are no longer shy. In fact, you may have become more extrovert, outgoing, talkative than many of your friends. I certainly did.
This is an important thing to learn in life so that you don't have to suffer through uncomfortable situations like the one you have now.
Imagine being able to tell the female teacher, Excuse me, I can't get through. If she doesn't move, you'll be brave enough to say something more like, "I don't know how to say this politely so I will just say that I do not particularly enjoy rubbing body parts with other people just to get through the doorway. Maybe I am over sensitive, but could you please humor me and step aside?" There's just enough politeness but also assertiveness in something like that. You will know what sound s right for you to say.
Now if the teacher does not move out of the way, and begin to attempt touching you in other way, like touching your shoulder or patting you on the back, the laws are now that teachers can no longer do that as was possible when I was growing up. These laws are there to protect you. Once you are no longer too shy to deal with it, if she persists, it will be easy to go to your counselor and talk to them about it.
By the way, I do find it odd that a teacher would chose on several occasions to sit next to a student. I know of no teacher in my school years ever seeking out a student to sit next to. That in itself is very odd behavior for a teacher.
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Dear Does my Teacher like me,
Here is my opinion.
Perspective filters can cause the imagination to run wild. It is possible that you have an influence in your life that would cause you to see your teacher's actions as sexual; when she is just a very friendly person who enjoys icing very, very much.
(I know when I get something I love in my mouth, I make faces that would be mistaken for intense pain. lol)
Then again, maybe your perspective of the situation is spot on and you are seeing real sexual gestures.
There are so many variables here. These are just my opinions and they may be right, or they may be wrong.
My advice is this; talk to your teacher about these things you think you see her doing. I believe honesty is always the best policy. If her actions make you uncomfortable, you should talk to her about it and ask her to stop.
It is possible that she is oblivious to her behaviour and would be thankful to you for pointing it out.
Then again, she may be doing it on purpose.
One can never tell the true intentions of another until a line of communication is opened, a history trust is established and lines laid in the sand.
That is my advice. Be open and honest. Talk to her about this and at the very least, get an understanding of what is going on.
Thank you for asking me such a complicated question. I am sorry that my advice is not more enlightening or less difficult to follow. Talking to someone about something sensitive like this takes courage.
Good Luck!!
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Sorry, my answer seems to have not posted, lol.
Hmm I mean those are very subtle things, so I would normally just brush them off. But being that it has happened so many times maybe it is intentional at this point. How old are you both? Do you have feelings for her? It is typically viewed at inappropriate in the school setting for a teacher and student to have any type of flirty relationship.
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Teachers and students spend a fair bit of time 'together'. And teachers are of course human. It's quite possible for a teacher to strongly 'identify' with a younger person, of like or opposite sex. They're professionals, and have the dealing with great numbers of students. So they are not usually naive or easily phased. It's easy for a teacher and pupil to strike-up what you call a 'rapport', meaning there's a harmony or 'agreement' between them that just springs up. A teacher of classics say, might tend to find such a rapport with a student who is keener, more interested than common (or they need to be) in their subject. An art teacher must feel an attachmnet of sorts to someone they spot with a potentially great talent or ability I should think. Or maybe, there's just something in a particular pupil that makes them feel good about being a teacher and role model in general, one or two who make them feel it's a really worthwhile profession. (When a lot of pupils must make them despair!!). Maybe she simply sees something in you that reminds her strongly of her own school career? And wants to be the 'mentor' she wanted, or possibly even had herself? That's a million miles away from them wanting a 'relationship' (physical, or outside of class time at all). Sounds like you've got a good 'rapport' with your teacher. Which can be a very good thing, especially if 'her subject' is one that interests you greatly. Beneficial to both of you. But don't dwell on the idea of a relationship, and NO school gossip with your mates. You're sharing your thoughts with adults here, and you've been honest about your observations and what actually happens, which is not how things could end up if you share them with friends your own age. I know at school age it can be hard to identify & separate different feelings. You don't have to think your teachers are 'all jerks, all out to give me a hard time'. And a teacher who to appears to like you a bit more than usual is not necessarily eyeing you up as a partner. Keep up a mutual liking and respect for each other, share a few laughs with her when it happens, but don't read anything into the situation, or act in any way that's inappropriate. That's my opinion, since opinions you wanted. Just have fun...like the song says, eh? ps...I'm a guy. I ADORED (and fancied!) my (female) English Lit. teacher. And we enjoyed many a verbal joust and joke and many a 'private' exchange of glances. Nothing came of it, and nothing ever WAS going to come of it. Except that I did exceptionally well at English! Can still quote great chunks of Thomas Hardy and D H Lawrenece come to think of it....
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The thing is with questions like thism, a part of you want you're teacher to like you-it gives you a bit of a kick.
But the problem is by overanalysing every sign, not only will your class work go behind, you wont be doing yourself any favours in the long run.
It helps to think of it like this. You're primary school teachers like everyones were probably very touchy feely and things. It doesn't mean they like you, it means they're being friendly. Sometimes, attraction can be confused with meaning well.
If you're to shy to tell someone 'excuse me', then I'm guessing you're shy overall. This means lots of things. Firstly, you're more likely to over evaluate any sign of possible attraction this teacher shows you-and less likely to brush it of.But also, that in a classroom where it's now more common to be loud than reserved, this teacher may be overly concerned with whether you're ok or not.
I don't know if this is what you want to here, but the same thing is happening to me only with a male teacher, except I realize that what would someone in a job that they have competed to get be doing fancying someone 10 + years younger than them, when there are plenty of people their own age.
For your own sanity, you need to forget these feelings. The only time you should take action is if this teacher acts on any possible feelings she has for you.
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