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is it ok if my dad swears at me
i was trying to help my dad today but he got mad because i wasnt doing it right, ive never been so hurt of what he said to me. i cried alot. i feel so alone because my dad was the only person i can really talk to.. i just want to know is it ok if my dad swears at me sometimes?
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I'm a dad, let me share this thought with you. I have at times redirected my frustration at my most precious loved ones for my inability to explain how that person can help. I get mad at myself for not being able to explain something, so I verbally lash out at them, when it is my failure I am lashing out at. I know I do this and I try not to, but it's tough. It is also hard to admit this when you do it, but you deserve to know. Dads have much you can learn from them, so please don't stop helping him. Remember, you can help him understand himself as well, so he can be a better person, just watch the way you word things.
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As a parent I do not think it is okay for a parent to routinely swear at their children. That being said I can see where in the heat of the moment I myself have lost my temper and said things to my child I knew I should not have as soon as the words left my mouth. I apologized for as I said it is not right in my view for a parent to swear at a child.
If this has only happened once then I think your dad is as mad at himself or even more so then you are and as a parent is not sure how to apologize to you. Some parents find it hard or even feel it is wrong for a parent to apologize to a child. They think in so doing they loose some of their parental control or it is a show of weakness when they apologize to a child.
I really can't say how your father feels since I do not know him. What I will say is if this is a one time thing; forgive him and move on. If it is something that is starting to happen more often then there is probably an underlying reason, something that is stressing him that you don't know about.
If mom is there talk to her about what is bothering dad. If mom is not there talk to a trusted teacher about what is happening at home. Verbal abuse such as swearing at you can be considered child abuse. The school will ask to have dad come and talk to them and make him aware of how whatever maybe bother him is upsetting you and offer to help him or get him the help he may need with his problem.
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Think it depends largely on the relationship you have with your dad. Some young guys and girls have a pretty robust relationship with ther parents and they often verbally 'trade licks' as it were, including swearing at each other from time to time. And it's taken lightly, offednding neither. Now it's obviously hurt and offended YOU. Maybe it was out of character in the usual run of things in YOUR relationship with him? You say he's the one you can really talk to...that suggests to me you've got a good bond with him. You might tell him that cussing and swearing at you upsets you badly. Meet him half-way, by maybe getting a bit 'thicker skinned' as it were. A little verbal outburst is a common way of letting off a bit of steam and doesn't usually signify real hatred. Of course, mentally and physically abusive relationships are very real, sadly. But it doesn't sound to me like you are in one. Sometimes a little outburst really 'clears the air'. Stops the pair of you sulking and brooding over it like you might if it was left unsaid. You might find that yourself as you get older. Adults DON'T ALWAYS reason everything in out in a rational way. At least, not on the spur of the moment!!
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I agree with the person below. People lose their temper and say things they don't mean and things that will hurt the people who love them and the people they love.
Go talk to her dad, explain how you feel and try to fix things.
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Sometimes people do lose their temper and say things they don't mean. If it's the first time it happened (or happens rarely) and out of your dad's character then perhaps his temper got the best of him. I would suggest that since you say you feel like you can talk to him, I would tell him how hurt you feel. Tell him you're sorry as well to patch things up with your dad :)
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