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Boyfriends additude
My boyfriend and i have been together for a year &1 month i really he has anger management issues and he agrees but he doesnt like talking about it so he takes it out on me but at the same time i deserve happiness to i really want to keep him he IS the one i know it how can i be a dream girlfriend?
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I completely agree with Alexis. You can not spend your life trying to please someone and make them happy. There are too many guys that will be happy with who you already are and you won't have to change anything. Don't live a lie for someone else when you could be much happier living the truth with someone else.
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No no no no no...no. You cannot be the women he wants. You need to be who you want to be. He cannot tell you what to be and he won't because you won't let him.
His anger will hurt you. You should not be with a miserable person who will make your life hell. You do deserve happiness.
You this relationship and learn from it. Don't date guys like him and give someone who loves you.
Love yourself and find someone else who will love you. That is how life should be. Find someone who respects you as much as you deserve to be respected. Blessed be.
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I wish I knew a better way of say this but I don't. YOU CAN'T BE A DREAM GIRLFRIEND TO SOMEONE WITH ANGER MANAGMENT ISSUES.
This letter to us alone says you are already succumbing to the idea that you are the problem. You are not the problem you are the person he vents his anger and frustration on. This is an unhealthy relationship for you; for as his anger issues grow you are the one who will suffer. Both physically and mentally.
I can tell you love him but to stay in this relationship is dangerous for you. In fact I fear for your physical safety. All he needs to do is come home drunk one night mad at the world and you will be his punching bag. This unfortunately is a documented psychologically for someone with strong anger management problems.
The best thing you can do for him, if he truly loves you as you do him, is to leave this relationship. You tell him you will come back only after he has sought and attended professional help for his anger issues. You can if you wish offer to attend the counseling sessions with him; but that is as far as you go until he learns to control his anger.
I have spent most of my life attached to a fire department rescue squad. We are the ones dispatched with the ambulance when people are hurt. I have seen far to many domestic violence calls were the wife is the victim and we end up transporting her to the hospital. Occasionally with life threatening injuries.
I don't know where you live though I can tell you none of us want to ever come to the aid of someone who has been beaten by their spouse or significant other because he has anger management issues. One would think with everything we see in our working career we would become accepting of these things. It never happens. The day that happens neither we or the police who respond are any good to you. We hurt just as badly as you do when we have to care for you as these type of things are avoidable with the right kind of help.
You are early enough in your relationship that you can still walk away. If he gets the proper help you can try again. If not there is someone else out their who will treat you with the love and respect you deserve.
I apologize for the length of my answer; as you can see this is an issue that really upsets me. I have seen far to many of them.
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When someone has anger issues it is not you, It's them.
If he cares enough then HE should fix his problem. You could be the best girlfriend in the world but again HE needs to fix himself. Trying to be a "dream" girlfriend is not going to fix him or your relationship.
You need to stop blaming yourself for his problems. I believe a person with anger issues cannot truly ever be happy in a relationship unless they are happy with themselves.
Fact is many people with anger issues are suspects if abuse in relationships. The only way to save this relationship if he wants too help himself.
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