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Unintentional Thoughts About Others Guys
I'm 21/f and I've been in a great relationship with my boyfriend for a little over 2 years now, we're both very happy. Where I work there is one guy who I've been having dreams about every other night for the past 2 months. These dreams get more and more steamy to the point where I wake up feeling as if I've already cheated. Me and the guy at work are friends, and to make matters worse he has a fiance. I don't plan on pursuing these feelings but every time we stand even remotely close to each other at work my hormones go into overdrive and memories from past dreams almost push me into doing something stupid. What should I do before I completely lose it?
Thanks for any advice,
StupidHormones
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I don't know why anyone would tell you to tell your boyfriend. That is horrible advice. Regardless if your boyfriend is a jealous guy or not telling him such things would male him insecure and that would put a strain on what seems to me as harmless infections. Guys are very simple. We are beyond easy to please. Just let us feel like we ate the only one you see even in a room full of people.
Ok now as for this other friend that is a guy. That is normal to be attracted to other guys. Shit happens... That's life... Its natural. Just make sure you don't put yourself in a compromising position. Don't go out with him outside of work. Do your best to not be alone with him. Most of all... Remember that he is a co worker and if you act on this and mess things up you still have to see and deal with him every day.
This is my advice from a male perspective.
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The best way to deal with this is to tell your boyfriend about it. You know him better than I do so you know if this would really upset him or not. I think that what's bothering you the most is that you feel like you're cheating, but you've done nothing besides hide a secret. Telling your boyfriend about this will take a huge weight off of your shoulders. You don't have to make a big deal out of it. Many years ago, I had a few dreams about my boyfriend's good friend. I was mortified and I had no idea what to do because I wasn't interested in this guy at all. I decided to tell my boyfriend about it and he thought it was the funniest thing in the world. He still picks on me about it to this day. The best part was that after I told him about it, the dreams stopped and the weird feelings I had for his friend when I saw him in person went away pretty quickly too. It may be horrendously hard to tell your boyfriend your secret, but once it gets out, as long as you can laugh at yourself, you will feel so much better. You haven't done anything wrong at all and dreams are completely out of your control. If your boyfriend has a problem with this he is not the guy for you. Part of the intrigue and intensity in your situation is the fact that you've kept it secret. Once it gets out, you'll be able to relax, trust me. Good luck! :)
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You are taken, He is taken
You need to understand this. This man is engaged and to be married and yes, It would be wrong to pursue these feelings, very wrong.
It is okay to be attracted to others but to allow it to get in the middle of a relationship is not okay. My advice is to try and keep it professional and again, acknowledge that it cannot work. Imagine for a second your boyfriend allowing his feelings to control him for another woman? You would be very hurt. These dreams are just a dream and will fade as soon as you accept that it is what it is.
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Although you and your boyfriend may have a wonderful relationship, it is completely normal to be attracted to other men... As long as you don't take it to another level! This guy at work is something new and exciting, but he is definitely off limits to you. This work guy is a fantasy for you literally, which is okay. But in reality, you really shouldn't cross that line. It would be ruining a lot of people's lives. Maybe you need to take a step back and contemplate with yourself what it is about this colleague that your boyfriend clearly lacks. It's not a bad thing to want to improve your relationships! Just remember to also think about what it is about your boyfriend that this work dude doesn't have as well.
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