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he made me feel uncomfortable. but is he being inappropriate?
14/f
So I posted a question awhile back asking if what my uncle was doing was weird or not normal. Here's a link to the question so I don't have to repeat stuff:
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Anyways, since then, I've visited them 2 more times for thanksgiving and for new years. My uncle has been bugging me if I have a boyfriend too. He takes me phone and looks at all my contacts and the people I text. Personally, I think he's just trying to bug me, but I don't want to leave anything out.
2 more things happened during those trips besides what I talked about in my previous question. First, I was at a different cousin's birthday party and he stuck some trash in my back pocket. And so I was in this mind set that he was just being a normal uncle messing around, so I put it back in his pocket. He chased me around to try to give it back to me and shoved it down the front of my shirt. Of course, both times he touched my butt and my boobs, but I tried to ignore it. The last night I was there, I went down to the basement of the house I was staying in so I could spend some time with my cousins. They were down there with all my uncles watching a movie and the only open spot was by that uncle. I sat down and tried to relax. Later, most of my cousins left and eventually it ended up being that uncle's sons and my brother playing and my uncle on the couch by me. He slipped his arm around my waist while we were sitting there. and as I tried to move away a little, his hand ended up in the back of my sweatshirt. He just left it there, as my aunt came down and sat on his other side and kissed him. And he even told her that he hadn't been drinking. And the next thing I know, his hand was in my underwear. He didn't touch any where near down there, but he kind of just left his hand on my butt cheek. I felt really weird, and he tried asking me something about being curious (I don't really remember). I felt so violated that I got up and left. He followed me upstairs but I ran and hid in a bedroom for the rest of the night and avoided him.
I've been trying to rationalize how this isn't weird, but I know it was enough to make me feel uncomfortable. I was shaking for the rest of the night and I get these moments where I remember it and I feel like crap. It just made me feel so low and disgusting. I just don't know what's going on. I hope I'm not making something out of nothing, but this really bothered me and it still does. I'm not a very emotionally stable person. I used to have problems with depression and an eating disorder and I got over it by myself. But now I'm starting to slip back into a depressive state when I remember that night. I want to talk to somebody about it, but I can't bring myself to tell my parents what happened. It's just not fair to anybody. I'm just torn.
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Ok Im gonna make this as short as I can but I just wanna let you know that your not alone I went through sorta the same thing with friend of my dads and moms and honestly you have to stand up for yourself remember that whatever you feel is uncomfortable alway trust in what you think is right all I say is tell your parents hope I help (:
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I answered you the last time you wrote. With this information I am ready to say you Uncle has an unreasonable fascination with you that is in effect criminal as he has sexually assaulted you. He put his hands where they don't belong; he has made you feel sexually uncomfortable. This is the definition of criminal sexual assault.
You need to put a stop to his behavior when he is around you. You have several options.
1. You should tell your parents. You don't say why you cannot. I will assume it is because it is one parents brother. In which case I would suggest you speak to the opposite parent alone.
2. You can talk to a trusted teacher at school or your school principal. There are rules and laws in place that they must follow when informed of matters such as this to see to your safety.
3. You are at 14, old enough to report this matter to the police without parental assistance. This is a criminal matter. As I and Rashi have said your Uncle has criminally assaulted you. Yes, I know this is not what you wanted to hear but it is the truth.
4. Last time I offered the phone number of an organization called RAINN that you could call for further advise if you chose to. This time I am heavily suggesting you call RAINN for help.
You are asking for someone to talk to. They are the ones who can speak with you and offer not only advice but assistance in doing what is right for you in this situation. There number is 1-800-656-HOPE. Please call them.
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Your uncle sexually assaulted you. There is no question, no way to rationalize this. There is no acceptable reason for an adult man to touch a you like that.
I understand why you wouldn't want to tell your parents - but you need to realize that the person that this is MOST unfair to is you.
Keeping the secret hurts you more than anyone, and you're the kid. You are the one person who is supposed to be protected by the adults around her, not abused by any of them.
You should talk to someone. An adult who can help remind you that this isn't your fault and there is nothing you need to feel bad about. If you aren't feeling ready to speak to your parents, you could talk to another trusted adult, a teacher or a coach, or even call a hotline like RAINN (it's the Rape Abuse & Incest National Network) 1-800-656-4673.
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Well without knowing your uncle personally it's very hard for people on here to know how to help. All I can advice is you talk to a parent about it? Personally that would've been my first step.
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if your feeling uncomfortable in a situation always tell someone. or even tell your uncle that you dont like it. you shouldnt have to be put in these situations. i agree with you it is creepy. although it might be difficult and awkward i do suggest telling your parents.
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