Am I slut for giving a guy a hand job? He has a girlfriend, and it is not me.
Question Posted Tuesday October 2 2012, 4:26 pm
Well basically there is this guy at my skl and he's asked my best friend a couple of times if I would give him head,or a hand job ,so after skl my friend deliberately planned for us all to play dirty dares( basically 21 dares but the dares are sexual) and she sort of kept bringing up that this boy wanted me to wank him off, to sort of force us into it anyways so he got all shy coz he thinks his dick is too small etc. But he says he wants to do it and I sort of want to but he has a girl friend in another school and he wants me do it in the park? If I did do in the woods in the park and he has a girl friend would this make me a slut? And did I mention I'm only 13 and so is he we only just got into yr 9 , any tips on hand jobs?
[ Answer this question ] Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category? Maybe give some free advice about: Work/School Relationships? OneLove_OneHeart answered Wednesday October 10 2012, 10:02 pm: First off, dear, there are so many other things that you could be doing at 13. This shouldn't be one of them! But I will say, no it does not make you a slut because you decide to fulfill this guy's wish. If you want the honest truth, all 3 of you are wrong because he has a girlfriend, you are aware that he has a girlfriend, and if your friend knew he had a girlfriend she shouldn't have set this up. Put yourself in her shoes, would you like it if your boyfriend got a hand job from another girl at his school just because you weren't around? If it doesn't bother you, well then alright but if it does disturb you just a little bit or a lot then you shouldn't do it. It's not fair to her and it's not right. You should respect their relationship, but it is not all your fault because first HE should respect his own relationship; if he and his girlfriend are on bad terms and they're about to break well then I have nothing to say other than give them a chance to break up first but if he's just cheating just to cheat.. and you're helping him cheat then the both of you are to blame and you should kind of feel used (just saying). Sorry, that you probably didn't want to hear this but it's the truth. Best of luck to you :)
-A.B [ OneLove_OneHeart's advice column | Ask OneLove_OneHeart A Question ]
nikz answered Friday October 5 2012, 4:43 pm: this would be a bitchy thing to do i mean would you like it if your boyfriend was getting jacked off by someone else behind your back? This could seriously ruin your reputation because guys love to brag and he will definitely spread the word. He has a girlfriend and he's messing around that tells you that he cares about nobody but himself. So my advice to you is don't do this and stay away from him [ nikz's advice column | Ask nikz A Question ]
adviceman49 answered Wednesday October 3 2012, 11:42 am: First let me say I do not like the word slut. To me the word does not exist for it has no meaning and is only said to demean a person.
Next you are only 13 and by asking this question I am of the opinion you are really asking if you should be indulging in this type of sex play. To this my answer is a definite no for several reasons.
1) No one should ever force or shame you into doing something sexual that you feel you are not ready for or do not want to do. It is my feeling and at least the feeling of one other advisor I read that you are being coerced by your friend into doing this. This is definitely not something to be done on a dare.
2) Sex, as you will learn as you get older and more mature. Is a very private and personal act not to be done as sport. Any sexual act should be done in a place that is comfortable and secure from intrusion. Wanking him off in the park does not meet either of these requirements. Obtaining these requirements will be near impossible at your ages.
3) You are just to young to be engaging in any type of sex acts. This is made clear to us by the fact you are asking how to do this. This will all come more naturally to both of you as you mature and grow older.
My advice is not to do anything on a dare and specifically not to engage in sex on a dare. What if the dare was to have intercourse with him? Would you even consider the dare? Remember this; people that dare you to do something are asking you to do something they themselves would never do so just say no. [ adviceman49's advice column | Ask adviceman49 A Question ]
innocent_angel answered Wednesday October 3 2012, 7:01 am: Well to begin with I get the feeling you don't know if you should in the first place, and clearly your friends are making a decision for you or at least pushing you towards that direction.
It's entirely your choice, One way will gain you a lot of self-respect and possibly being called "frigid" if these people are not nice. Another may give you a fun story for a few years but I'm sure "Slut" will be brought up as well, if not by anyone else by the girlfriend and her friends if anyone ever were to find out.
Consider this before making any choices though: You are young and so is he I doubt he truely loves this girl he's with but he has committed himself to a relationship which he clearly doesn't care about. That isn't your fault obviously but would you be happy with yourself knowing you played along with his game? This girl will be hurt either way. It's also not great for the future, when you meet a man you love and you start talking about silly things from your childhood he could be very put off for a total disregard for another girls feelings and it would hint at your own opinions that cheating is okay if you never get caught.
I'd not do it personally, it's your choice and I don't want to preach but I do want you to consider these things before doing something you could regret.
rainhorse68 answered Wednesday October 3 2012, 4:25 am: Hi there. These teenaged dares eh? Well, reliable figures from surveys say that the most common age for girls to start the 'handjobs in the park' stuff with guys is 13 to 13 1/2 Looking back at my own younger days I'd say that was amazingly accurate! It's quite normal to be thinking about boys pretty much all the time, and of course you'll be dying to actually make a guy come, and see what it's all about eh? It really DOES NOT make you a slut, OK? Just normal. The fact that the guy in question has a girlfriend raises a few questions though. He's not likely to turn down your offer, believe me! And, OK you're not exactly going to be a marriage-wrecker. But if the roles were reversed, and you found out...how would you feel? Pretty crap I bet, to put it mildly. If you ever meet she'll probably call you all the foul names she can think of, slut included! Now wouldn't it be kinder to shelve the dare until you find a 'single guy'? Try not to hurt others if you can, it tends to hurt you too apart from anything else. Just a thought. I don't think you really need any tips. It'll all come naturally, and probably pretty quickly too...you can polish-up your technique with plenty of practice! Have fun...don't get guilt hang-ups...but consider the effect of your actions. Fair comment? [ rainhorse68's advice column | Ask rainhorse68 A Question ]
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