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my girlfriend thinks she's a lesbian :'(

Question Posted Sunday September 2 2012, 2:56 pm

My girlfriend and I have problems,, she thinks that she's a lesbian,, I keep telling her that she can't be a lesbian if she hasn't done anything or have feelings for another girl... She wants to break up because of it and I don't know what to say to show her that she's not the lesbian type... I don't want to loose her,, what must I do???

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Violettree answered Saturday September 8 2012, 4:08 pm:
You are an asshole.
Being a lesbian isn't about sex. It's about loving who you want to love, and yes, part of that is sex. But just because she isn't attracted to anyone does not mean she can't be gay. But whether you believe it or not, you aren't the issue. It's what she thinks, and it's about what she feels more comfortable with. I repeat: It's not about you.
You're gonna have to let her go. And you should be nice about it. Say, 'I understand that you are gay and I'm sorry I was such a dick about it. I want you to be happy, because I care about you a lot. I'm going to miss you.' Then let her say what she wants, and that's all, folks.
NOTE: Do not say any of that if you don't fucking mean it.

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WittyUsernameHere answered Monday September 3 2012, 10:31 pm:
Lesbianism does not work that way.

You cannot show her anything. If she thinks she likes girls and not guys there is nothing you can do to change that, it's just how she feels. Let her go, it is the respectful thing to do.

Telling someone that they are wrong about their sexuality is incredibly insensitive and assholeish. You are not them, you do not know how they feel, and dealing with this is hard enough without a guy trying to convince her otherwise because he doesn't want to be single again.

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Razhie answered Monday September 3 2012, 8:56 am:
You can't do anything. The only correct thing to do is to respect her.

If you can't take the 'not knowing' and the drama of her questioning and figuring it out, then you need to break up with her.

Nothing you can say, or do, is going to convince her she's 'not the lesbian type'. She's going to have to figure this out on her own.

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mercury answered Sunday September 2 2012, 4:48 pm:
What's the'lesbian type'?If she says so,maybe it's because she truly feels attracted to other girls.And perhaps she is afraid of that,because she may feel embarrassed.I recommend that you talk to her,but letting her know that there's nothing wrong about being gay.Think about it.Would she really break up with you if she didn't actually feel that something serious is going on?
Cheer her up!But accepting anything she tells you.Hope it helps!

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