I am a 14 year old girl and my cousin is 18. I live about 1 1/2 hours away from him and we don't see each other very often. We aren't that close, but close enough to have a nice conversation. Last week, me and my sister had to stay at my cousins for the week.
On the 2nd or 3rd day we were there, my cousin starting to getting closer to me, liking hugging me closely and putting his hand on my thigh. He would touch me under the sheets/blankets and sometimes even when his brother or my sister would be in the room.
Later, it got to where he was massaging my breasts over my shirt. He was very subtle about it, and I was too afraid to do anything about it. I felt weird and awkward, but I also felt pleased. But then, I feel like that is wrong and I feel guilty too.
On the 5th day, while my cousin, my sister, and I were watching a movie. He and I were under the same blanket and he started to rub my breasts and he moved my hand over to his.. area. I tried to escape from his grip but I couldn't. I didn't want to cause panic to my sister by shouting or anything. So I just let him do it. I was kind of in shock and curious. I didn't know what I was doing and at the end of the movie, he didn't say much. I was shaking that night in my sleep and scared.
Now, I'm back home, but I'm afraid about what will happen the next time I see him, which probably won't be until Christmas or Thanksgiving. Should I tell an adult? I really feel embarrassed and I don't know how I would explain this to my parents if I did tell them.
I can relate to the situation you're in, my uncle molested me when I was 13. My parents and my brothers went out while my uncle who was in his late twenties to early thirties was left to look after me. He put his hands down my trousers and did other stuff. I felt confused because I was an age where I was curious about sexual stuff (normal in teenagers) but I didn't like what he was doing to me and I was afraid to tell anyone.
DON'T go and talk to him and go straight to a trusted adult. Like the user below me said you don't owe him and he might threaten you, blackmail you in some way like saying you touched him or he could mess with your head.
He probably won't stop until you do something about. It's no good to bottle your emotions and put this away and store it in the back of your mind. It's not good for your mental and emotional health.
It's going to be hard for you to say something but please do he shouldn't be doing this to you and he could do it to your sister. Maybe you could ask a friend to come with you for support or ask someone at school like a teacher or school nurse on how to talk to your parents about this. Good luck, If you want to get in touch and talk feel free to e-mail me. [ Tigz285's advice column | Ask Tigz285 A Question ]
Razhie answered Tuesday July 17 2012, 11:02 pm: Don't talk to him. You don't owe him anything. He doesn't deserve a chance to explain or promise not to do it again.
He abused you. It's very, very unlikely, that he was confused about this. At 18, he knew exactly what he was doing. You don't need to put yourself in a situation with him to 'talk about'. You are a child and the victim. You get to turn to adults for help.
People rarely sexually assault only one person. You probably aren't the only girl he has done something like this too - and if you don't get adults involved - you definitely wont be.
I know it's extremely painful to tell anyone in your family this - you might to start with a teacher or another adult in your life who can support you - and then move on to telling your family. [ Razhie's advice column | Ask Razhie A Question ]
holla13 answered Tuesday July 17 2012, 11:21 am: Talk to him first. If he doesn't stop, get up and tell an adult. If he sez you touched his...area say u only did cz ur sister was der and you dint wantt her freaking out. it's true obviously, and stay away from him. if you two r geting alone go with a goup of fam members and stay there and sit far away from him. jus avoid him and tell an adult.
°MC° [ holla13's advice column | Ask holla13 A Question ]
Teen2TeenHelp answered Tuesday July 17 2012, 12:23 am: I think before you tell someone you should talk to him and tell him that you don't like it. I know it is natural to feel curious but I can tell that if you want this, you don't want it with your own cousin. Let him know he needs to stop it. He's 18 and you're 14! And he's your cousin too. Depending on his response, you should tell an adult. If he denies anything, then I think you should tell an adult. If he agrees to stop, make sure he does but if he downright says no, then tell right away. Also, I would try to stay away from him for a while too. I know you can't avoid not going to his family for the holidays but try to avoid any type of contact with him, conversation or anything. [ Teen2TeenHelp's advice column | Ask Teen2TeenHelp A Question ]
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