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My Dad cheated on my mom with her bestfriend.
In april my dad cheated on my mom with her bestfriend and they have had a relationship ever since. My parents divorced and my dad is still dating my moms bestfriend. When my mom was friends with her, she told my mom how she cheated on her husband with her boss and many other people. Her and her husband are divorced now andI have no doubt she's already cheating on my dad too. Anyways, my mom has 90% custody of me so my dad has me 2 days a week. During those 2 days he is constantly texting her, we barely talk. I refuse to be around my moms ex bestfriend because I hate her and everything she does. My dad can't stand that I'm being so stubborn and neither can she. I already told my dad I want nothing to do with her, yet he constantly asks me to come along with them. I've tried explaining how I feel to him but he just gets mad. I want to spend more time with him but shes always there. I can't even go to MY FAMILY events because shes there. I missed out on my grandmas birthday, my great grandmas birthday and I'm sure I'll be missing out on Thanksgiving and Christmas because of her. I just want her gone and I'm afraid soon my dad is going to make me choose between either accepting her or not seeing him. I really want my dad back. This has ruined our whole relationship.
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Your dad hasnt a clue on what your going through. You try and avoid the issue by avoiding her along with your dad, but this ex best friend is loving the fact that you are giving up on a relationship with your dad because you cant stand her. And you have every right to avoid her, but does that mean losing your dad in the process? Grown ups are funny people, they dont know how much their kids are hurting because theyre too busy thinking theyre in love, you need to ask your dad for one on one time with just him, she dont need to tag along, that aint your problem, whatever you do you dont have to be the one sucking up to him, he was at fault and hurt your mom, the least he could do, is make an effort to spend time with you without the extra.
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for one thing, you can't let some random women take away time from your father. it doesn't matter the situation. you need to sit your dad and talk about this.. of course understand even though parents were once teens they still never seem to understand even though movies and t.v. will tell you different. anyone who isn't in your exact shoes, WILL never understand. tell your dad you want to spend time with him, no phone. just you guys. but also whether you like this women or not as long as your dad is with her, you are going to have to deal with it. so go out with the two, just deal with her. nobody says you have to like her but at least pretend because you love your dad. and that's more important then her.
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You need to stop refusing to see your family because of her.
Seriously. I understand your feelings completely. I've been in your shoes in more then a few ways in my life. And sure, it's important to put your foot down and refuse to be hang out with her and your dad like some big happy family - but it's even more important not to isolate yourself from your extended family because of your father's bad behavoir.
So go to your family events. Ignore her. If she approaches you or tries to engage you - be as polite as you would to any stranger - but remind her you aren't there is see her. Focus on members of your family that you want to see and be with.
Don't let her presence ruin your time with the people you love. When you do that, everyone else suffers, not her.
You can't make her gone. But you can and should ask your dad to spend time one on one with you, and to respect your pain and unhappiness with this situation.
You shouldn't be hateful or mean towards her - but you also shouldn't be expected to be her friend.
If he can't or wont spend time with you one on one, frankly, you sound like you are old enough to choose whether you want to go see him or not. If he is loosing you over this, you may as well be totally honest with him.
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