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sex or rape???


Question Posted Monday May 21 2012, 9:08 pm

24/f
ok, to start off, im not sure if it was sex or rape.
i said yes to my boyfriend. he did NOT pressure me into it. later before it, i changed my mind, but i forgot to tell him. so we did and now i feel violated.

was it sex or rape????


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cupcake_89_23 answered Friday September 6 2013, 9:59 pm:
It was not rape because you gave him permission to have sex with you . It is only rape when someone forces you to have sex with them against your will .

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DopeSwagg answered Thursday May 24 2012, 7:01 am:
this was sex because in the first place you let him go no to you

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alexisgirlie answered Tuesday May 22 2012, 5:26 pm:
This was sex, not rape, even if you felt violated. I believe you should talk to your boyfriend about it, but make it clear that it was your responsibility to let him know that you changed your mind. But if he could please help you out next time, and make sure that you are really okay, during sex. It is normal to think that you want something, until you actually do it. He should respect your change of mind, even if he will be very upset. Remember that it is your body, and you have full right over it. I hope you feel better soon :)

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thelaura answered Tuesday May 22 2012, 3:06 pm:
You said yes. It's sex. Not rape.
I'm not entirely sure how you "forgot" to tell him, but he's not psychic, so if you change your mind, you need to tell him.

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Xui answered Tuesday May 22 2012, 12:54 pm:
It was not rape you consented. Rape is when you are forced. If you did not want to have sex then you need to tell him and be honest.

It was sex not rape

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adviceman49 answered Tuesday May 22 2012, 10:04 am:
You have to communicate to him in someway that you have changed your mind and do not want to have sex with him. Unless you say the word no or physically force him off of you it is not Rape.


There has got to be more to this then what you are telling us for I cannot understand how someone your age can forget that you don't want to have sex with someone. The only thing I can think of is you were drugged or drunk in someway in which case that would be rape for your ability to consent is not possible.

Anytime your ability to consent is impaired then it is possible you were raped.

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Razhie answered Tuesday May 22 2012, 8:46 am:
If you consented, and then in no way, withdrew consent, it's not the crime of rape.

Changing your mind is fine - but you can't really expect someone to know you've changed your mind unless you tell them so.

Unless there is a great deal more too this story, no, it wasn't rape.

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orphans answered Tuesday May 22 2012, 8:22 am:
Hello,

I don't understand the situation. You changed your mind just before it, but you "forgot" to tell him? Like, what, you actually *forgot* to tell him? You did not tell him "no" during, or just before?

If you said yes, and you had sex with him willingly, then it is just sex, not rape.

You cannot say "I said yes, but then just before it happened, I forgot that I didn't want sex, but I had sex, but I didn't tell him". I'm sure if you said "no", he would have stopped. If he didn't, then it's rape. But if you said yes, and then didn't say anything after, then it was not rape.

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