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20 y old female with 37 y old male
Dating older men was not zomethibg i planned on in life, however once i started dating i seemed to only find older men attractive.
My boyfriend Jorge and i have been dating since October 2010. We met exercising around our neigborhood. He waz a recent dicorced father of a 2 (now 3) year old. I was a university student who just moved to Florida.
When i moved to Miami we still saw each other 4x a month. Recently he asked me to move back to central Florida to advance our relationship. After much debate, i decided to leave Miami. Now ive been back for 4-5 months and if anything i see him less or the same as i did when i lived ib Miami. Thjngs have not even attempted to advance. I questioned him about it and he acted like i was speaking another language! I told him i am fed up and we need to go our separate ways, but thats not what i really want.
My question is this:
Why do you think he did not want to advance the relationship?
Do you think he just wanted me closer and more convienent for gim (possibly even control)?
Do you think my responce to this event was appropriate?
If we speak again what should i say to get my point across?
* he is also a cardiologist with his own pratice, ill be il school for 2 more years. Our families know about each other, i have met his son, etc.
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who knows...that's strange why he all the sudden didn't want to advance in your relationship. it is his loss. it may of very well been to control you, but it could of been for another reason. all i know is that a major necessity for a healthy relationship is trust. if you have this many questions about what's going on, there is no trust in your relationship. this was very well the appropriate reaction to what was happening. he disrespected you by not being understanding to your questioning. he should appreciate your honesty. second, what he did was wrong. he left you hanging..so he was disrespectful by leaving you hanging, and by not appreciating and understanding your honesty. you should be firm and get the facts straight with him. tell him how you're sick of him disrespecting you and avoiding you. if he tries to ignore you or change the subject, tell him you need to talk about this, no matter if he likes it or not. tell him what he did wasn't right.
you don't need an older guy messing with your head. you have your whole life ahead of you. don't live too fast. take your time finding the right guy. someone who treats you the right way. he will come to you.
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Sounds to me that once he got you were he wants you.he doesnt have to try as hard.I think you should tell him exactly
what you excepted was going happen when you moved and that he needs to figure out what he wants and soon or you have no choice but to end it and move on.Even though you dont want it to be over If your in a relationship where your not happy its never going work.Your just going be miserible. Its sounds to me that he just wanted to closer to keep eye on you and have you there for when he wants you.I think your response was appropriate.I hope it works out for you and i hope i helped
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I mean I think you should talk with out you no an argument. I mean tell him that you thought the two of you were going to attempt to advance our relationship together I moved back so we could spend more time together but it seems we are at the place in our relationship as we were while I was in Miami.
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Dear Questioner,
Just want to point out your are not alone. Me and my boyfriend have the exact same age gap (yes i did the math ;)) However my situation is diferent to yours.
But regarding your questions,
I think that he may have been having doubts with you being so far away. So it is possible he wanted to control you, or just simply know your close.
You need to make it clear to him you moved back because of him. And to be with him, because he means something to you and he cant be messing you around like this.
You need to ask him clearly where he stands. Whislt also saying very clearly where you stand. Because you dont really want to split up.
I can understand your response but if it was not true then it was not fair. you need to tell him yu want to be together, but only if he is willing to be clear with you.
I wish your relationship the best of happiness
vikkikimberly
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