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My boyfriend is 'teasing' me far too much
Female/16
My boyfriend (also 16) teases me tonnes, to him it's hilarious - anything that winds me up is hilarious to him - but to me, it's irritating and well, I cannot stand it anymore.
We've been together a few months and were seeing eachother for about six months pier to going out officially.
For example, when getting intimate and say I move him on top of myself, he says 'Alright, Claire!' - Claire is a friend of mine, she tends to sleep around and in his eyes is not attractive at all, he also hates her - this really, really irritates me, for obvious reasons, and I just really wish he'd stop it. As for one it completely ruins the mood and it's almost like he's thinking of someone else (even though I know he doesn't like her.)
I've tried telling him to stop, but he wont as he thinks it's really funny.
How can I help to stop this? Any help will be much appreciated and sorry for it being fairly long.
Thank you.
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Stop using words like 'irritating' and start using words like 'deeply hurtful', 'demeaning' and 'unloving', and asking him why he thinks it's so very funny to cause you pain? Especially at intimate moments.
He can argue that no, it's really IS funny! But it's much harder to argue that no, you aren't really hurt by it. You may not get the final say on whether a joke is really stupid (this one is) but you get the final say on how you experience his behaviour - and this behaviour show utter disrespect for you.
You aren't being overly sensitive - from the sound of this question you are actually being a bit too soft and unclear with him. He's being deliberately cruel, and he needs to stop that. Telling that sort of unfunny joke is kind of stupid once, but by the fiftieth time, he's just being a deliberately vindictive bully who is taking pleasure in your pain.
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Well, As harsh as this seems, (sometimes in life thats just how you have to approach certain situations such as this) You may have to tell him, If you continue to do it, I will not sleep with you anymore until you agree to stop. I can almost guarentee if hes you normal average adolescent male, he will stop almost immediately. Goodluck to you, hope my advice helps. -Istalio
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You need to tell him this bothers you and that it's a complete turn off. If he continues to do it, then stop being intimate with him as soon as he says her name. Once he realises what will (or won't!) happen when he says her name, he will soon stop saying it. You need to be consistent in your approach for this to work. For the other scenarios, you could try a similar approach (depending on the situation of course). Good luck!
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He probably doesn't realize that this hurts your feelings a bit, and actually bothers you. Just try and tell him that you don't like that he's joking around like that with you, not only because it comes off as degrating to you (because the way i take it he pretty much considers your friend a 'whore' and is joking around calling you the same, just for that) so if he doesn't like the attention your giving him, then he doesn't deserve it.
You also have to realize that he probably isn't serious about it, which doesn't change the fact that it bothers you or not, but I have a guy friend that says "jeez..slut" when i show quite a bit of my chest, or when i wear a shorter shirt, or have holes in my pants. lol I know he's kidding though, but if it bothered me he wouldn't realize that and would continue to do it because he thinks its funny.
I hope i helped somewhat. You can ask me anything else if you have more questions..(:
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WHOA
You are being sexually intimate with someone and they are calling you by your friends name?! Sweetie that is a huge no no
Sex should be a special experience with someone that you love and trust, Not some dude that is visualizing someone else...That is wrong. Clearly, Whether he may say he isn't attracted to her at all to some extent he is apparently. Dump his ass and move on he isn't worth it! Someone who loves someone doesn't slip up like that. Also, No offense but that is extremely immature. Find someone who cares about YOU and wants to be with YOU not your friend.
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