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I'm 14 and he's 17
I like this 17 year old, but my parent's won't allow me to date him. My heart is set on him and i can't just let him go.. I really like him and he really likes me... What should i do?
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As long as your really like him age is but a number and sadly all your parents can do is sit and let you date this boy. They have to understand that you have a right to make your own choice of boys no matter how old they are and they can't stop you.
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If you two really LIKE each other then waiting until you both are a more appropriate age could be this solution! But If he does not want to wait then talk to your parents and see if dating could be considered!
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You have heard from people your age. I'm more your grandfathers age and maybe I can put this in prospective for you. This won't make things any better but at least if you understand why your parents feel as they do there will be less tension between you and them and that is something grandparents do for their grandchildren.
IF you were 24 and he was 27 your parents would be helping you look for a wedding dress if you were this certain about him. But your not, you are 14 and he is 17 and even though the age difference numerically is the same. Your maturity levels are way, way different now then if you were older. This is where the problem lies for your parents.
At 17 this young man is far more experienced in dating and what his expectations are when dating a girl. Girls his age are far more experienced in dating boys his age and can handle his expectations better than you can. Yes I am talking about sex, something you are far to young to be participating in.
Your parents are not disbelieving in you when you say you love him. The thing is they are old enough to know and have gone though the age you are now to know this boy is only your first true love. Meaning you are just as in love with him as your are in the romance of being in love. I'm sure right know your shaking your head and saying old man you don't know me and you don't know what your talking about.
Fact is if I was your mothers father I could probably attest to the fact that I watched your mother go through a very similar situation when she was your age with her first true love and he wasn't your father. All girls and boys have their first true love. Some of the relationships last longer than others. Most if not all do not last into marriage.
Because of the age difference and your lack of dating knowledge and dating maturity your parents are very concerned this boy could take advantage of you. This is a real concern. Your young and your in love and you want to please this boy. You might just let things go further than you would with a boy your own age. A boy whose maturity level and yours are on par with each other.
I had a similar problem with my son when he was 17. He met and started dating a 21 year old girl. The problem wasn't quite the same as your parents are looking at, yet I still had my concerns. Fact is she did not realize just how young my son was. They met when my son was returning from basic training in the Army. He entered on an early enlistment program and spent the summer between his junior and Senior year in High School doing his Basic Training. He was in Uniform so she took him to be older.
My concern was not with sex. She was old enough to know how to protect herself and to keep my son at bay if he pursued sex. My concern was alcohol. She was old enough to drink legally he wasn't.
These are just two things parents worry about. Then their is your overall safety that concerns us. It's tough being a parent today. We want are children to grow and experience the world, to do so we have to place restrictions. One of those restrictions is drawing a line on who and when you can date. It matters not be you boy or girl.
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so I was in ur shoes once i was 14 and he was 18 we started to date when i was 15 i was so scared to tell my parents so i hid it from them i snuck around with him for a year. then one day my mom was at work and i had him over and my mom came home early and found him... i was so scared that she was never going to let me see him again she was furious!!!! i told her that i loved this guy with all my heart and he loved me also so she agreed to meet him and accept the fact that we were in love. around that time (I was 16) i got prego but thats a whole other story and we had a baby girl and were still together to this day 4 years and we still love each other a lot and our daughter. and my mom told me one day when we were talking you should of just came to me and told me you really cared for him and we could have figured something out. so im not saying to get pregnant lol but maybe just sit down with your parents and tell them how much you care for him and maybe you guys can work something out!!!! goodluck
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Hi, I'm 14 too and I also like a guy that's 17 and my parents don't (I guess I could say) want me to be with! What a coincidence! But ya anyways...
You should include additional information about his personality, how he treats you, why your parents might not like him, etc.
Have you thought about why they don't want you to be with him? It could be anything big or small, like I know and accept why my parents don't want me to be with my 17-year-old. In fact I agree with their reason, but it isn't a big enough reason for me to listen to avoid liking him anymore. Their reason is that he has a lot of girls flirting with him, but it really doesn't bother me because he isn't mine. He's not my boyfriend so I can't get mad for nothing.
You should do what I do and accept the reasons why, whether you agree with them or not. My parents also have reasons that I don't agree with. With your parents it may be that he has an addiction problem, he's a delinquent, he's insecure, possessive, abusive, etc. It really can be anything. If it's the age difference, remind them that there are successful couples that are far apart (My parents are 12 years apart and they've been together for 18 years!)
But if it isn't any of those things, then take him home with you one day and (beforehand of course, you really shouldn't surprise them because they will have another thing against you) tell your parents that you'd like for him to come over, and ask for a day that this can happen. Then tell your boyfriend the same day (after you've told your parents about it) and set a date. Then, when that day comes, you have your talk with them and then straighten things out.
Make sure he's comfortable with it though, and do it on a day
I hope I helped and I hope you took the time to read all of this! If you did, then Thank You and I really do hope you straighten this out and please let me know what happens, it might help me with mine. (feedback)
Good Luck !!!
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The user below me is completely wrong. You do not want to go behind your parents back!
When I was 14, I really liked a guy that was 17 as well. Of course, my parents were against it.
I didn't blame them. The age difference is a lot. It may not seem like a lot, but truely, it is.
I did what the chick below me said to do, and I went behind my parents back. It wasn't a secret for long, and than I got busted. My parents found out. I lost their trust, and I wasn't allowed to do anything for a while.
You don't want to lose your parents trust. Trust isn't something that can be gained over night. Once you lose it, it's hard to gain it back. Trust me.
I know you really like this guy, but I am probably 98.9% right when I say that he is only interested in you for sex. Thats what the guy that I liked wanted from me. I was young and naive, and when he said he loved me, I beleved it. Than he began to say "If you love me, you will do this." and I left him.
No boy is worth ruining the relationship you have with your parents, sweetie.
Your parents don't tell you "No" or "You aren't allowed to do that" just because they can;
they do it because your their babygirl; and they love you; they've been in your shoes before and they know what its like to be in your position. THey are doing it to benefit you, and to help you.
When I was growing up, my parents would tell me something, and I ALWAYS thought they were wrong.Than when something would happen and it was exactly like they said it would be, I felt stupid. If I would have listened and realized they were doing it for the right reasons and not to be jerks, I could have saved myself a lot of heartbreak, regret, and embarassment.
Just be wise about your decision. Boys come and go, but your parents will always be there for you. Don't let a silly boy ruin the relationship between your parents and you.
Good Luck!
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um i don't wanna tell you to disobey your parents but if you really like him you should try it out just don't tell you parents and keep the relationship slow and steady after all you are just 14 tell him you wanna go slow and if he doesn't respect that than he isn't the one for you.
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