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he hits me so much i am getting used to it and the verbal abuse hurts more. i have no family and i love him. what do i do? help!
I have been living with my boyfriend for over a year now things r not going so good.we argue a lot but usually we get over it pretty fast.in other cases we both flip out and he starts getting really violent. He hits me in my face knees me throws me amd mainly chokes me now.i pretty much have gotten used to the hitting it stops hurting fast now but I'm not sire i can handle the verbal abuse.he says he blacks out i love him a lot but im not sure what to do i have no famiky and I'm onoy 17.i need advice please!!
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Maybe give some free advice about: Abusive Relationships?
Look online, or in the phone book, for a women's shelter.
This is not okay. Like others have said "blacking out" is a bullshit excuse. He probably also tells you that if you behaved diffferently he wouldn't have to hit you - And that's a lie.
He's wrong. 100% wrong the moment he lays a hand on you. What's worse, is I'm betting he's a good bit older than you, and your dependance on him is a large part of why he's been able to get away with this.
You need to find a safe place to go. If you don't have family or friends who can help, reach out to a social service or woman's shelter that can.
You can also call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1−800−799−7233 to get some support and connections to services near you.
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You need to get out of the relationship, "Blacking out" is a bullshit excuse. There is NO excuse for being violent towards someone whether it's verbally or physically.
Find a friend or family that will let you stay with them until you get on your feet, If there is absolutely no one that can then find a women's shelter that can take you in and help you.
Whatever you do, You need to leave. Staying with him isn't going to make the situation any better and FORGIVING him is only telling him nothing but that is is okay to abuse you and it's NOT.
I really believe you love the good times you had with him, Not him in general. Seriously are you happy being with someone that abuses you?....I hope the answer is no.
I am a victim of an abusive relationship of 5 years and I'm telling you right now if you stay in the relationship it will only get worse. The choking should be an alarm going off in your head. GET OUT BEFORE YOU END UP HOSPITALIZED OR DEAD. People don't just change because they fucked up, Abusive people need to seek professional help. You owe it too yourself to leave, You deserve better in life then this piece of shit.
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No one should have to put up with being abuse as you describe you are being abused. You need to leave him. His excuse that he blacks out is NO EXCUSE as he should be seeking medical help for the black outs.
Having no place to go is no excuse for you to stay with him. There are agency's and organizations ready, willing and able to help you. The first is the National Domestic Abuse Hotline: Their Number is: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). The second is an organization called RAINN which stands for; Rape, Abuse, Incest, National Network. They too operate a 24/7 hotline you can call for help. That number is 1-800-659-HOPE.
Both organizations will help you find shelters and professionals who can assist you in getting away and keeping him away from you. You may love him but his violent streak may one day cause you great harm or even kill you. You are in an abusive relationship and you need to get out before you are more seriously harmed them you are.
If he hits you again call 911 and let the police handle the matter. Yes he will be taken to jail for the night. This is done to give you the opportunity to get away and to protect yourself. The officers will explain this to you. By going to jail for the evening it will also force him to get help as he will most likely be sentenced by the court to seek anger management help and or medical help for his black outs.
Your safety comes first. You have to put yourself and your safety ahead of everything else. Please call one or both of the numbers I've supplied and if he hits you again before you can safely leave dial 911 for help.
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This is normal behavior if he loved you he wouldn't hurt you. You need to think of yourself and get yourself out of this situation. Do you have any friends? Anyone you can talk to? Maybe try to get him some help or something. For this behavior to continue is unacceptable and should not be tolerated. Stand up for yourself and take charge. Please get yourself out of this situation ASAP!
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