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meaningless relationships
The same thing keeps happening when ever I get into a serious relationship
I'm a 19m by the way
We have sex and it consumes the relationship
I can't really talk to my friends about it
I have no reason to complain I have an above average sized "package" about 9" and I have sex atleast once a day I live the mans dream but it isn't a relationship and that's what I really want any advice would help
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I know how you feel. I'm sixteen, a bit younger than you. My past relationships were always revolved around sex. I'd express I didn't want it revolving around sex but they always pressured me and such and it was very confusing. Eventually I realized I wanted more. I told guys I didn't want sex, I wanted a long lasting relationship. Sure that brought a lot of rejection, but in the end it all works out. I've found someone who respects my boundaries and has similar wishes. We waited about two months before we had sex, and that might not seem for long but he has been my friend for about two years. We're very close and we both want the same thing. Find someone who has similar interests, and wants a relationship, get to know them, and when the time comes, do what you want in your sex life. Don't give up!
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Hey I kind of know where you're coming from..
I'm 19 too and when i was in a relationship with my ex, all he ever wanted was sex and it seemed like our whole relationship evolved around that. Yeah sure he would do a few sweet things for me like take me out to a movie, but I'm the type of girl that looks for more than just sex.
So in a way, we're kind of in the same boat. All you can really do is just ride the wave and let fate bring you to someone who matches your personality. Thats what I'm doing. Its not like i've given up.. but I'm just done looking. There's a saying that I always go by- Don't look for love. Let love find you. Thats why its called falling in love, you just fall..
Maybe try talking to girls about it and say you're looking for something more than just sex. If they don't agree, then they're not the one for you.
Good luck and inbox me if you have any more questions or comments :)
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Next time you get. Into a relationship with a girl, make it more of a gift. Work your way up to it, it can make things a lot more then just sex. You have to value her and she value you :)
Krissi.
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Based on my own experience I would say your relationships are probably normal, at least based on the information given and has little to do with the size of your package. Our attraction to one another at first is based on sex or sexual attraction. So most all relationships are to one degree or another all consuming on sex at first. But sex only goes so far at some point you want and need more.
What you have to learn is to find someone that is not only attractive to you but has similar interests. Now when I say attractive to you this does not mean the woman has to be most beautiful woman to ever walk this planet.
You will be surprised that once you start searching for a women with similar interests in things that interest you; you will see the inner beauty of this woman. This will have more meaning then the outer beauty which may only go skin deep.
At 19 you are a little ahead of yourself looking for a women with brains. But this is the type of woman you want to make a life with. Yes, sex is going to be an important part of your lives but sex is also a learning activity; again something to be mutually enjoyed. Sex is something you can teach each other as to what gives each of you the most pleasure. This takes an ability to communicate on higher plain, above the waistline in general and outside the bedroom as well as inside the bedroom.
I'm trying very hard not to be crass as this is serious and I believe you truly want a women who wants you for your brains and not your sexual abilities. This is a rarity as generally it is the women who is writing this type of question.
Suggestion: To find people with similar interest it is helpful, I've always found, to make a list of what most interests you. It could be fishing, boating, hiking or it could be more scholarly interests such as history, geology or whatever are the things you like to do, hobbies. Then number these interests in the order of importance.
Once you have your list look for clubs that are organized for those interests for people your age. This is where you will meet women who you can have a relationship that extends beyond the bedroom as you have from the start that extend beyond the bedroom. From there as the relationship grows you can develop mutual interests.
Your on the right track and as I said years ahead of your buddy's. This is a good thing and will make for a better marriage when the time comes.
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There's nothing wrong with having sex atleast once a day. it doesn't necessarily mean your relationship is consumed with sex. Unless the only reason you are having sex is because that is the only thing you both have in common. otherwise it would become a problem. if that is the only thing you both have incommon then ya'll need to sit down and find another common ground. go out and do things together. but most of all, make sure you communicate. communication is the most important key in a relationship. communicating will keep you in a relationship a lot longer than sex will. and if you are still looking for another girl, then when you begin dating don't have sex for the first few dates atleast. Talk about each others hobbies and interests and really get to know each other. then you will have already achieved a common background and the rest will fall into place. Im 22 btw so i totally understand where you are coming from. hope this helps. good luck.
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