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Worried the sexual abuse I suffered will ruin my future
hey guys ...i am 19yrs old girl.i am worried about my future.my cousin brother forced me to have sex when i was 8-9years old.if i dnt do so he use to beat me.he have sex with me 2-3 times but i didnt bleed.he use to lick n play with my pussy until i get menstruation(on 11).now i am worried if my bf got to know m not virgin..i dnt want him to knw since that was not my fault..help me out.do u think my bf will knw??
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Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: General Sex Questions?
First, you don't even have to be honest about the virginity thing. Just lie if it would make you feel better. This is a white lie, one that doesn't hurt anyone.
Secondly, men who are obsessed with the virginity issue are wackjobs. A woman's prior sexual history is nobody's business but her own unless it would somehow affect your relationship with your current bf. My attitude is I don't care if a woman has slept with the entire seventh fleet, if she will be faithful and honest, isn't bringing in any STD's and is loving then I'm good.
If your man asks about you being a virgin and seems really intent on needing to be with a virgin, that is a sign of mental illness and/or a potential abuser and you need to dump him. It's your body, not his. You do what is right for you and the hell with what anyone else thinks.
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Why would it be mad if he found out that you worn't a virgin if you're thinking about uping up to him in a sexual way after all that you've been through that must mean you trust him and love him right? well then he will respect you if you tell him the truth. You shouldn't feel ashamed, what happened happend and it wasn't your fault. I was moulested and there are times when i punish myself for letting it happen but i've come to terms that i just like you was a kid and i didn't know what i should have done. You are an amazing person and you're boyfriend loves you because of that let him know everything about what has happened to you the good and the bad that way when you do have sex it will be the best thing you've ever felt.
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I think that you should tell him your boyfriend what happened. If you guys decided to start having sex you would be reminded by this constant memory, and it's good to have someone to talk to this about.
Have you ever told your parents this? You may want to come out with this now, so that you can possibly get the help you need by going to a counselor and your cousin brother can be punished for raping you... you were molested, that is not okay.
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my opinion, explain to your boyfriend about your past, and tell him everything. I know, when I told my boyfriend of my uncle molesting me, he understood everything in why I sometimes feel uncomfortable. So go ahead and tell him.
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he wont know. dont let this pric get away with it report it he dangerous and if he was accountable it could mean one less victim.
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There is no way to tell if someone is a virgin or not, However I would be upfront and honest about your past too your boyfriend. Sexual abuse is a hard topic to discuss but if you plan on being sexually active with someone then you should at least let them know that way they are informed that it is a sensitive subject for you. I recommend if you haven't already to seek therapy to help you overcome this. Your cousins brother should be and needs to be caught as this is wrong and you shouldn't let him get away with it. Communication is important in relationships and there should be no secrets kept if you plan on being with someone long term. Be honest and let him know, He may help you cope with it even.
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