I asked a few questions a while back about dealing with my overly shy boyfriend. Recap: He's super shy and he's a couple years younger, but he acts even older than I do sometimes. He knows when to be a kid and when to be an adult. Problem is, he doesn't seem to know how to act around me. He turns red and squirms when he has to kiss me or if he's sitting next to me on the couch.
And this is how I tried to solve it. I myself am shy, but I forced myself to overcome it today and invited him to a double date in town. I tried so hard to get him to talk and to order something to eat, but he wouldn't. He just smiled some of the time or laughs quietly as if he was stuck. I tried to urge a conversation about his job and about how life is, but he wouldn't go into it. I know guys draw the line at talking about certain things, so I avoided deep questions. Just normal questions. I really hate to say this, but I don't think this relationship is working out. And it's hurting me to even think about breaking up with him, but he won't discuss it. Should I just break up with him and ask to be friends or maybe keep trying? (He does seem to like me, but he's just too shy to do ANYTHING.)
AdviceMistress answered Monday August 15 2011, 8:24 pm: The question do you see this relationship as a long term thing? And are you happy? If you're not happy I would consider ending it. Your boyfriend being shy is the way he is. If you can accept it than continue in the relationship but if you can't accept it I would talk to him about it and consider just being good friends. It really in the end depends on what you want and what makes you happy! [ AdviceMistress's advice column | Ask AdviceMistress A Question ]
Eunice101 answered Monday August 15 2011, 4:28 pm: From the looks of it, it seems that your boyfriend and you don't make the perfect match, due to his over shyness, he should understand why you would want to break up with him. But maybe first you should tell him how you feel, and maybe he can change, if he doesn't then you know he's not the right one for you. :) [ Eunice101's advice column | Ask Eunice101 A Question ]
MummuM answered Monday August 15 2011, 1:46 pm: If his shyness is holding him back from doing anything, I really don't see the point in trying with this relationship. You're trying way too hard to get him to open up and talk more. You both seem like two totally different people. If you tried to discuss things with him and he doesn't want to, how do you know he's even taking the relationship seriously?
I suggest having a serious talk with him. Explain to him that you really do have feelings for him, but with him being so shy and not even talk to your friends, that's a problem. You DO have to communicate in a relationship. If you can't talk to one another, what really do you have?
Hopefully he takes what you're saying seriously and tries to change. If not, just explain to him that you both really need some time by yourself and it would be best if you guys could just be friends. [ MummuM's advice column | Ask MummuM A Question ]
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