Do I tell him about a pregnancy from a one night stand, or not?
Question Posted Monday August 15 2011, 7:37 am
I recently had a one night stand with an acquaintance. We have a lot of mutual friends and I have met him before but I wouldn't say we are friends. During all this the condom broke and I took plan B, unfortunately I was on some medication that the Dr. thinks might have interfered with it working. And as it turns out I'm pregnant. I really don't know what I am going to do about the baby. I am not sure I am ready in life to have a child etc. But my biggest dilemma right now is whether or not to tell the guy. He is moving in less than 2 weeks and I am just not sure it is worth telling him. Advice?
adviceman49 answered Monday August 15 2011, 10:08 am: I think you first have to decide if you are going to have this child; meaning would you be open to aborting the pregnancy. If the answer is no then you must tell him.
Even if you do not plan to keep the child he may want to take the child after you deliver. That would be his right as the father. Should you plan to go through with the pregnancy and put the child up for adoption, knowing who the father is, he too would have to sign his parental rights away. That of course is if you live here in the states. Any other place the laws may be different.
If you decide to keep this child and raise it, then he also must be told for he has a host of legal responsibilities to you and the child. He does not have to marry you but he does have to support the child with medical insurance, life insurance on himself, monetarily for the child's needs such as food and clothing, his share, and educational needs. All of this can be explained to you and by a good family law lawyer who can see to it that the courts order him to so.
If you decide to keep the baby then you should seek the counsel of a good family law lawyer before informing the father so that the legal paperwork is in place. You may also want to allow the lawyer to make the notification.
MummuM answered Monday August 15 2011, 9:32 am: You're going to have to tell the guy, as much as you don't want to, he has to know this. He is the Father and he has every right to know. That would be a kick in the throat if he found out you were pregnant from some other person.
I got pregnant when I was 19. I was scared. I didn't know what to do or what I was going to do about the baby. I ended up keeping my baby and it was the best decision I have ever made. I really couldn't imagine my life without him...now I have two.
Rena-Chan answered Monday August 15 2011, 8:34 am: Telling him is in my opinion a good idea.. Unless he's a worthless dead beat, then don't. Also, if you aren't ready for a child, there are women out there who try desperately to conceive but cannot. Adoption is a very good option, they have a couple forms of adoption (I.E. Open adoption and Closed Adoption) Open adoption is where the people take in your child, raising it, but you can still visit him/her. Closed adoption..well it's where they take in your child and you never have to see or have anything to do with the child. Also, with adoption cases, you get to interview the potential families, and you get to choose who your baby can or cannot go to. If you are positive you do not wish to keep the child, do look into adoption. [ Rena-Chan's advice column | Ask Rena-Chan A Question ]
tlaki answered Monday August 15 2011, 8:12 am: Hey
I truly understand your situation. I honestly believe you should tell the guy, even if his leaving in two weeks. I think he has the right to know, even if he might reject you and the baby atleast you would have told him. Unlike living with the fact that you took the chance of been a father away from him.
I also think your doctor should have warned you about certain medications that interfere with contraceptives. In future, I would advice u take extra measures.
Attention: NOTHING on this site may be reproduced in any fashion whatsoever without explicit consent (in writing) of the owner of said material, unless otherwise stated on the page where the content originated. Search engines are free to index and cache our content. Users who post their account names or personal information in their questions have no expectation of privacy beyond that point for anything they disclose. Questions are otherwise considered anonymous to the general public.