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Am i inlove with my male co-worker
Im married with 2 kids and there is this male co-worker who would joke that we are soulmates everytime we wore same color of shirt. His bestfriend sometimes teases us too. There are some instance where he would stare into my eyes n hold it for a second. I think im in love with him now? is it love or attraction?
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haha, don't worry its neither I think your just expiriencing lust. If you didn't have a husband you'd have jumped on this chance. Most women do find this 'soulmate' guy but you didn't even want him until people started joking and sorta put it into perspective for you. Don't have a dumb middle aged affair your husband is your soulmate, this guy is just a bit of eye candy for you and keep it that way nothing more. Just think about how much your hurt your children if you decided just to indulage in a bit of eye candy, not worth it stick with your husband he's safer and hes the one you love lust must be ignored :)
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I think what you might have is a "work husband", someone of the opposite sex with whom you have bonded. You will know how each other takes their coffee, you talk a lot about your families and office gossip, you are closer than you are with your other colleagues. I have had several work husbands throughout my career and it certainly makes the day go quicker and more easily! But you are not in love with this person, he is just your "office best friend", while your husband is your real life best friend (one would hope) :)
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I believe never2balone has said it best. If you take what never2balone has said and sort of take it to the next level you might understand your feelings better.
The attraction you are feeling for this coworker, yes attraction, comes from the amount of time you spend together. For those of us that work in an office we may spend as much as 45 WAKING hours or more together a week. Compare that to the number of actual WAKING hours we get to spend with our spouses; we actually spend more time with coworkers. I believe this how the term OFFICE WIVES AND HUSBANDS came to be.
It doesn't have to be this way. You can have an adult relationship with this man and not be in love with him or physically attracted to him. If he is doing something to cause you to feel this way, the wrong is on him. He knows your married.
If you do not want to ruin your marriage then you need to take action. If it is possible to transfer to a different part of the company try and do so. If not I would suggest looking for a different job. You should also tell this man he may be misinterpreting your friendship and that his advances are unwanted. If this does not stop him then you can either report him for harassment or find a new job.
If there is something wrong in your marriage that this man is picking up on; then you have some choices to make. You can either fix your marriage or welcome this man's advances. This will probably ruin your family life as it is today.
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It is probally an attraction because yall have been teased so much your attraction began to grow. Maybe he likes you. If your marriage is great and your kids are important do not even worry about him, your family comes first if you cant trust your self around this co worker of yours look for a new job then quit.
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You are just attracted to the carefree life... sometimes (especially with kids) you can feel a little trapped in your marriage... its totally normal... try spending more time with your husband.. and definatly find a new job before you get too involved and make a mistake... dont do something you are going to regret... your hubby and your kids are what you want and if you do something with this guy you are going to lose the one you have good luck and best wishes
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It's not love. You see, the stress of marriage and having children can cause you to stray. It's easy to see the grass as greenier when times are hard. But we have to recognize when we need to stear clear of certain situations. It is easy to become attracted to others that we see everyday and develop feelings for them and that is why we have to set boudaries. You must keep your conversation professional or things will lead down the wrong path quickly and before you know it you will have lost your family. Is having a relationship with this co-worker worth losing your family? Your actions won't only affect you but your husband and your innocent children. Your children deserve the best start two loving parents can provide but once you step across that line you may destroy everything you worked so hard to build. Believe you me, I know all too well how much work goes into a marriage but anything worth having is worth working for. So, please don't allow a few stares from across the room destroy your family. It's NOT worth it.
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Bad idea
It is never a good idea to get involved with a coworker. You both work together, You see one another everyday and having a relationship with a coworker would put more stress on a relationship as you two would have no room to breathe.
Jobs have to appear work appropriate, You cannot show a romantic relationship at your job. As in many companies coworkers are not allowed to date.
You are married, You have children and you are thinking about sacrificing what could just be a fling? Your best bet is to put it behind you, You have children and a husband at home. Also, Do you know if this man is married and has children? Would you still want to be that women whom he has an affair with?...If his wife found out she would be pointing the blame at not only him but you as well? This is what you'd be doing if you were to date him also. Think about his wife/Your husband.
Before you ask yourself whether you are in love, Think about the possible consequences. If you two were to date; You would have no time to yourself, If the relationship went bad...You would still have to face him everyday and that would be whether it were to be awkward or not. Stick to strictly coworker friendly relationship you are better off trust me.
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