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sex with the lights on
im 18/f and my boyfriend is 19/m
My boyfriend took my virginity roughly 2 weeks ago, and since then we have been sharing whilst cuddling one night things we would like to try/different places we could go/ what turns us on. he mentioned that it would be a huge turn on for him for us to have sex with the lights on. Because it would be really romantic to be able to stare into each others eyes, and he would be able to see everything.
however im very very insecure with my body, and thats why i like having sex in the dark, because i dont have to worry about what i look like. Although he told me he's already seen my 'problem areas' he says i have nothing to worry about and that he loves my body. but im very well aware that im overweight. especially compared to his previous girlfriends. id love to be intimate with him with the lights on purely for the romance of it all... but im to caught up and worried about my body.
is there any tips or anything to help me 'hide' the flaws of my body in the light?
id really love to do this for him, even though im insecure
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Well I only have one thing to tell you. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks about the way you look. Your opinion is the most important, if you like the way you look and don't want to change anything than that's great. If however you don't and want to lose a couple pounds then that's great too. It's all about how much self-confidence you have. Don't compare yourself to others because everyone is different. Just keep saying to yourself "I am the perfect me" and you will be fine. As for your boyfriend if he says he loves your body then that should be enough too. Don't ever change for anyone. Plus you should be happy and proud that your boyfriend accepts you just the way you are.Just be yourself.
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As someone who prefers some meat on his lady's bones, I offer you this:
He already thinks you're hot. To him, you are a super model. If you weren't, he wouldn't be with you because guys are really visually oriented. So keep the lights on, strip slowly for him and let him take it in. Besides, he will also be able to see what he is doing (eating pussy in the dark can be kind of a bear sometimes *lol).
Look, on an evolutionary basis, women are meant to retain some fat and have big hips. Skinny girls are like walking skeletons and hugging them is no fun. Ever hug a bag of bones before? Ever cracked a woman's back with a hug? I did. Holding a nice, soft woman in my arms feels amazing. And kissing one, oh my God, phenomenal!
Thus, it is okay to be a big girl as long as you are healthy. If you exercise a couple of hours a day, are responsible about your eating habits (low fat diet) and be nice you will attract guys. Not everybody wants a barely concealed skeleton (which is a good description of most fashion models).
So start enjoying how he feels about you. Be a nice, relaxed person, don't overthink things (guys REALLY hate that!) and get naked for him frequently. When he is hugging you, think about the sensations you are experiencing from the hug rather than the meaning of it or how your hair looks at that moment. When you are having sex, just keep your mind clear, enjoy the emotions and pleasure and have fun! You can only be you. Don't compare yourself to others because you can't be them, okay?
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your boyfriend loves your body and wants to be with you because he loves you... If he didnt like you he would be with you.... Its okay to be afraid, new things can be scary, honestly at first I was afraid to do the same thing with my hubby but I could get in a shower with him and have the lights on how odd is that haha...
We girls set such high standards about our looks and often forget how beautiful we really are, we may not look like super models but hell even super models dont look as perfect as they do in magazines...
You are a beautiful girl inside and out and your boyfriend can see that and he loves that about you...
If it frightens you try closing your eyes at first.. think about how you are everything he wants and how happy you make him, and trust me if your boyfriend is as sexy as my hubby, you are not going to be able to keep your eyes closed ;)
you can do this its not as scary as it seems good luck and best wishes oh and have fun ;)
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Just get over it.
Trust me, he doesn't care. He doesn't notice the things you do.
Spend some time together naked. Just hang out, watch movies, play games, whatever. Sans the clothes. Get used to being naked around him. When the mood strikes, get intimate.
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I think all guys love having the lights on at some point in the relationship. I would try starting with a nightlight, the tv or some candles. After a few times of you feeling comfortable with that, you can move on to the lamp on the nightstand. Then before you know it, you'll be having sex during the day in the middle of the living room...lol. I hope this helps and good luck.
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I understand exactly what your going through. I'm 17 and right there with you. I'm overweight and I'm very insecure about showing my body. But I've also been in you exact situation where i didnt want my boyfriend to see my body. And he told me the same thing yours told you. "i love your body" so i figured big he Jan love my body then why Kant bi. Love yourself for who you are. So i went ahed and gave it a try.and what do you know. He was telling the truth. He loves me for me. So i want to tell you. To love you for you and go for it. U never know what could come of it.
Best wishes
-shiika
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It sounds to me like your BF loves you not just the body you inhabit. Sounds a little strange doesn't it.
When I advise people who have questions similar to yours I talk about the two people we are. There is the person that reflects back at us in the mirror and the inner person. The outer beauty and the inner beauty.
We can't all have the outer beauty like the magazine models, which most of them don't have anyway. There pictures are greatly retouched. We can have and most of us do possess an inner beauty. It is this beauty that your boyfriend sees and is blinded by. I am certain he does not see your outer self because he sees and is in love with the beautiful person your are.
My advise is you stop thinking about your outer self for now and deal with your boyfriends feelings for you. If you feel you have to do something about your weight then maybe you can do something about it with his help. Just don't let your insecurities come between you.
Try starting with soft lighting and build up to bright lights. I believe you boyfriend will be most encouraging in helping you to accept who you are as that is the person he is in love with.
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