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big talk needed but how do I bring up a sex change with my parents?

Question Posted Sunday June 19 2011, 3:11 pm

hiya im 18 and female, for sometime now i have been questioning my gendre and wanting to be a boy. I walk like one, talk like one and i often dress like one as i find it more comforting, more myself. I just dont know how to bring it up with my parents, i am scared of there reaction. I have even researched all i need to know about the operations. How do I start the conversation of? please help me i feel trapped

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lovealways1221 answered Saturday June 25 2011, 1:47 am:
you should realize.. parents are a whole generation different from ours. I know because my parents dont see eye-to-eye things with me either. I ask them if I can stay out past 1am and they say no. Its just how life works. So I think its more likely that your parents will be shocked when they hear about your sex change, because at their generation, sex changes weren't common. Its a new topic for them so they might be shocked. Be prepared for that. Expect that reaction.

I'm not sure how to start the conversation with them.. but just sit them down one day and tell them the truth. Say that some people, even yourself, have started to notice that you are acting more like a guy. You've thought about this and have decided to get a sex change. Ask them for their opinions and thoughts. Yes they will be surprised and shocked, so don't put them on the spot. Let them think about this and tell them they can get back to you with their thoughts.

If they get mad, well that's their problem. Its your decision. You're 18.. legally an adult. You can make these decisions for yourself. Parents are supposed to support you and take care of you. If they don't because of this.. well that's their fault. They should realize that you're their child and they need to look out for you and support you.

Good luck!

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maggielawson answered Friday June 24 2011, 10:01 pm:
think about it are you sure, u want a sex change? i think it's just a hormonal in-balance....but if it's something you really want tell your parents that you just don't feel comfortable being a girl and that you would be much happier if you was a guy, they might not take it to well but it's your life...i wish you the best, and i hope i helped(:


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adviceman49 answered Monday June 20 2011, 11:09 am:
You just can't walk into a surgeon's office and ask for a sex change operation. Not in the USA or any other country I am aware of.

You first need to go through psychiatric counseling. You also have to live, dress and work as the sex you wish to adopted before receiving the required approvals before a surgeon will proceed with the operation. This includes using the public rest rooms of your adopted sex. There is nothing that says you will even get the permission unless you are able to convince the team of doctors you need to convince.

That being said I wonder if this is the right time to even speak with your parents about this. The cost of the psychiatric visits alone is considerable, then there is the surgery costs as well. None of these costs are covered by insurance or any National Health insurance that I am aware of.

Unless your parents have the money to underwrite the costs, which could be well into 6 figures, and you feel they would. What would you gain by telling them now if they are not in a position to pay for the doctors or if they would not if they could afford too.

I feel the first thing you need to do is seek out a psychiatrist trained in gender transformation and have an initial consultation. After the consultation if you feel you can move forward the psychiatrist and the psychologist you will be working with will help you with how and when to inform your parents.

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karenR answered Monday June 20 2011, 7:21 am:
It will be a difficult conversation for sure. I think the best advice I could give you is for you to ask & talk to others in your situation & those who have been through it before.

Here is a forum I think would have the best advice for you. Best of luck to you. :)

[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)

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