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I know I've done wrong but...
Ok long story short. I have two ex-friends.
Well one is my gf I think... But anyway. theres the guy friend A and my 'gf' friend B. they started talkin and did a joke rp about kissing. But my history has been verbal abuse amungst other things. I trusted that friend A would understand that I got upset by this. I didnt want to hurt friend A so I ignored him. I know that was wrong but I didnt want to hurt him until the reason for ignoring him had passed. He kept asking when I tried to talk just normally so I told him the reason and he says that I cant do anything to re-claim our friendship because he felt like s*** for the week or so I ignored him. I have been to a councellor for such things like this like not trusting people and being scared of people and he now hates me though he says he doesn't. So I have literally just destroyed our friendship and now I have lost one of the people I trusted the most. But another thing is, is that he told friend B about what happened and now she thinks im pathetic. Now I'm more scared of everthing and now I have no-one to lean on. Someone help or give me some advice on what to do!
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Hi there,
You will have to do something for me here: Stop telling other people what they think. Here is what I mean:
"...and he now hates me though he says he doesn't."
If he says he doesn't hate you, he doesn't.
Just tell him what you have said here, and whatever he tells you... take it at face value.
It is emotionally draining to have to constantly reassure an insecure person that you don't really feel all the things they, through their own self hatred and insecurities, are projecting onto the people around them.
Trust me on this one. I have decades of experience with this issue.
Just talk with him... and when he tells you he doesn't hate you... BELIEVE HIM!
If your current therapist isn't working out, it is time to find another one.
In the future, remember: ignoring people is a bad idea. Ignoring problems does not fix them.
Guys, as a rule, would rather be smacked in the face than get the "cold shoulder" routine from you ignoring them. I know that goes for me.
A new therapist is in order. Please find one soon.
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