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Friends With Benefits With a Family Friend
16/F A few days ago I had sex with a family friend. It was my first time ever having sex- not that that matters. He has been a family friend since was like 4. I know it's not exactly right but we both like each other so much and have good chemistry. He really cares about him hurting me during sex and also regrets not waiting till I'm 18, but now that we've done it, we don't want to stop. The other night was amazing and we both want to keep this up but without anyone finding out. I don't want to end this one bit but in the back of my mind I'm afraid of getting caught. But all I can think about is enjoying myself. What should I do?
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Its ok because if you both have liked eachother for a very long time there is no harm. And i wouldnt worry about people finding out about you 2 because its not like "he is Family" So they cant get mad at you for that its human
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The fact that you choose not to mention here - even to a bunch of strangers - this person's age or what kind of family friend they have been, tells everyone who reads this that you already know that what you are doing is a really bad idea.
Your own intelligent mind is telling you to stop. You should to listen to your gut.
There are good ideas and there are bad ideas, and you are not an idiot. You know which is which.
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Depending on the age of consent in your state and as long as the age difference between you two is not more than 3 or 4 years, again depending on the laws of your state. You probably only have the wrath of your parents to fear.
I agree you should be on birth control as statistically condoms are only about 85% effective in preventing pregnancy. Condoms also do not prevent the transmittance of all STDs, something planned parenthood or your doctor can teach you about, which is something you should both know about for now and the future.
As for being caught by your parents having sex; yes they are going to go ballistic. Yes they understand that physically you are capable of engaging in sexual intercourse. They also understand that you have the physical desires to have sexual relations.
The difference between how you see things and they see things is the fact of maturity. At 16, while you have the adult physical as well as the adult desire you lack the maturity of an adult to deal with the consequences of your action.
I do not say this to be mean, it is just the reality of the situation. This is why you are scared of being caught. There are other ways to care for your sexual desires without actual intercourse and the chance of pregnancy.
In my mind their is no such thing as friends with benefits. For after the benefits can come responsibilities that you and he are not prepared for. Remember a child does not ask to come into this world, we bring them into this world and are responsible for their well being until they are adults. Just as your parents are doing for you.
Fear is a natural reaction to doing something that could harm you or is wrong. So if you are in fear of getting caught; My advise is to stop offering your friend the benefits until both of you are old enough to deal with consequences of the benefits.
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The first thing you need to do is get on birth control. Condoms can break and so aren't 100%. If you don't want to talk to your parents or your doctor about it, call Planned Parenthood and see if they can help you.
Okay, having said that, you aren't related to the family friend you are now having a relationship with. So not a big deal. The guy sounds considerate.
Now you might get caught, but it would be delusional on the part of your parents to not think the friend might not be interested in you at some point. I mean, come on, let's get real. You guys aren't doing anything ethically wrong. The only problem that may arise out of this is if he is an adult, then the police could get involved, depending on what the laws of the state you reside in are. This isn't your fault or your boyfriend's (as long as he isn't an adult), but that of a crazy little thing called love, as the song says.
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