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Im 20 and my dad is still control of my life.
My father is catholic, and very controlling of every step i take. I still have to call him all the time, where i am, who im with, and i have a curfew. Or more of a limit of 2 hours after my work to see friends. I fell in love with my boyfriend, and we plan on moving out together next month. I dont know how to tell my dad that im leaving and not going back to europe with him.
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You need to tell your father that you wont be a little girl forever and that you are ready to move on and that you will still call him and keep in touch and that you love him and will see him soon.
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You are a visitor to the land of the free and the home of the brave. Even so you have all the rights as a visitor granted unto a citizen of this country. As such you are considered an adult. Your father can no more tell you what to do then I can. There is the fact that you live under his roof to consider and even American children are sometimes befallen of the axiom; "as long as you live under my roof you live by my rules."
Your father cannot force you to stay under his roof and he cannot force you to return to your home country with him. To stay here though requires permission of the Department of Immigration. Which is something you need to find out about before burning any bridges, so to speak.
Once you know for certain that you can remain in this country, then you need to sit down with your father and have a conversation with him. You tell him you have no plans of returning to your home country with him and that you gained permission to stay here from U S Immigration Service. It is up to you if you want to tell him why you are staying here and with who.
There are different types of visas you can apply for to remain here. If you wish to remain her and work those are probably the hardest visas to get as you must posses a skill for which there is more demand then people to fill. Education visas are probably the easier ones to get. If you and your boyfriend plan to marry you need to talk to the INS about a resident alien visa.
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Here is what you tell him:
Dsd, I'm an adult now. It is not healthy for me to still live with my parents at this age. It is time for me to stake out my independence and to explore life and find myself. So I'm not going back to Europe with you. But I will keep in touch with you by email."
That is all you can say.
I personally don't think you should be tying yourself down to someone (your boyfriend) at your age, though. You need to go through that exploratory phase and date around, do some traveling, graduate college, etc. If you don't have that exploratory time you will always regret it.
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Have a sit down with your father, Explain to him that you understand he only wants the best interested for you.
Sometimes parents have a hard time letting their birds fly out of the nest, Let Dad know you are 20 years old and you feel it is time to start making decisions on your own. You are over the age of 18 and are now legally an adult who can make choices. If you want to stay with your boyfriend and get a place together you are entitled to do so. Let Dad know that you will call him everyday and keep reassuring him that you will be okay.
No parents likes to except that their children are growing up and there may be no easy way to tell your father you want to start living your own life but in time your father will come to terms with that.
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