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i'm 17 and he's 20
i am a 17 year old girl and want to date a 20 year old. i have fallen in love with him but the age is whats getting me, he will be 21 in august. should i go with him and is it completely wrong. i'm stuck, dont know wat to do. any advice will help
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Well, it depends on how you feel with him. If you feel comfortable and think its worth it, then go ahead. Age doesnt matter, its how much you love him. But also, try to do things right and dont do anything you will regret. What matters is what you are and think when you're with him. I hope this helps you.
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I personally don't have a problem with your relationship.
The main thing you need to be concerned with is how the law sees it. You might want to look into not just the age of consent of your state, but there are also laws dealing with the disparity of age between a minor and an adult that can have major life changing repercussions for the adult. You guys can casually date and wait until you are 18 before having sex. That would be the safe thing to do. And definitely don't do more in public than kiss. Keep the groping indoors so that no cop will see him feeling up a minor.
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Honestly, age doesn't matter. I went out with a guy who was almost 4 years older than me. I think you should tell him that you like him, and see what he thinks after that. If he likes you back, then give it a shot. I think that it's worth a try, so go for it!
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Right now the difference in your ages is really not the point. My mother in-law was 5 years older than my father in-law an had my wife never told me I would have never known that until they passed away.
What is the point is you are 17 and he will be 21. The age of consent comes in to play until you are either above the age of consent, which differs from state to state, or you turn 18. Most likely the age of consent is not a problem, but you need to find out for certain. If for some reason you live in one of the few states where the age of consent is 18 then the problem becomes on of legality for the BF where he can be charged with real crimes starting with statutory rape, child molestation and other crimes they might wish to throw in as well. Whether he would ever be charge with any of these crimes depends on a number of factors coming to pass. None of which I am even going to go into.
If there is no problem with the age of consent, you should have no problem with the age difference. Obviously you do have some problem or you would not be writing to us. As you get older a 3 year age difference won't have the same meaning as it does now. In 3 years the age difference will probably be meaningless to you.
This is something you may want to talk to your mother about. It is not some private sex thing which might embarrass you; it's a dating thing which mom may have some very good insight to. Your mom may have found herself in a similar position when she was your age if so she can tell you how she handled it.
It never hurts to get different perspectives on issues such as this; that is probably why you wrote us in the first place. Your moms perspective is just that; a different point of view for you to ponder while you make a decision.
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4 years aint nothing. Think of it this way, when he is 50, you'll be 46. Do you think anybody could tell the difference? So no, it's no big deal. If he is a good guy, then nothing can go wrong.
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17 and 20 is a 3 year age gap... most of the people I know have a three year age gap. think of it this way, would it be so awkward when you're 25 and he's 28 that's a perfectly normal age gap.
The issue your feeling is that people believe there's a clear cut off point around 18/19, when you suddenly become mature and that to date anyone below an age is wrong, but let's face it I am willing to bet you both have common interests.
Now, if he makes you happy, and will look after you is the most important thing,
if you and him can ignore this very small issue then you could have a loving relationship together
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