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Mom can't accept that we have sex
My mom is pretty religious and as always taught us not to have sex until we are married. I understand and respect her views and agree with them to an extent. Because of this up bringing sex has always been a taboo subject in my house. I can't even talk about it with my sister, and it has cause relationship problems with my mom. My sister is 23 and I am 21. Anyway she still just can't accept that my sister or I would ever do something of that nature. My mom recently found out my sisters boyfriends parents let them sleep in the same bed and she cried. I just don't understand why she just can't accept these things. We are old enough to make our own decisions. We are both in long and serious relationships. I understand she doesn't agree with that stuff, which is fine, I just really do not understand why she feels soo strongly against us choosing to do so and why she cant get over it. I'm not asking her to agreed with it, just accept it...
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Maybe she thinks you'll be guilty later in your life if you had sex with this boyfriend when you get married maybe to someone else
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Waiting until marriage is probably an important moral to your mom. How she was raised and her life choices have lead her to feel this way.
Have you ever tried talking to her about her first time? That would give you some insight into her perspective, and also help you have better communication.
Also, as a parent, your mom has a hard time seeing you and your sister grow up. Sex is a big deal, and its another step away from leaving your mom and becoming an adult.
Regardless of why she feels this way, there may not be much you can do about it. You can try to talk to her and have a more open relationship, but that won't make her like you having sex. All you can do is live your life, and at least make responsible choices for your mom so you don't end up a pregnant young girl.
Don't stress about this too much; one day when you are married with your own kids it won't even matter. Then you'll have your own children to worry about!
Good luck,
-Abby
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Hon, if she isn't trying to forbid you, or lock you a tower, or punish you for these adult choice, then she has accepted it - it just hurts her anyway. I'm not sure what you mean by 'can't get over it'. If she is still mooping about weeks later then she needs to be told that isn't respectful or kind, but 'accepting' doesn't mean being happy about it. Or allowing things she doesn't like in her own home. It doesnt' sound like she was surprised by your sister's choice, just that it upset her.
As a young adult, you have to let your parent have negative feelings WITHOUT them affecting what you know is right and wrong. Your mother's crying is unpleasant for you and your sister, but it's irrelevant. Part of being an adult and making your own decisions, is not apologizing for them.
You need to be able to accpet your mother's unhappiness, just the way she has to accept that you don't agree with her.
It's a tough thing to talk about, and you can try and speak with her if you'd like. But unless she is being unkind or unfairly restrictive of your adult life, you might just have to accept her as she is, and let her have her unhappiness for a while.
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