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Not motivated thanks to family how do i motivate myself?
20/F
Iv'e been told mean things by my family and being told those things has caused me to not think highly of myself & not be motivated also be lazy and think that what i want to achieve isn't worth trying to achieve anymore i feel like giving up completely and think that my life isn't worth living and i'd be better off dead and i will never be good enough for my family also feel like nothing i do is right i'm having a hard time motivating myself i keep remembering all the mean things my famiy has told me & i'm starting to believe that maybe what their saying is true i feel like i'm a failure who's worthless & a nobody how do i motivate myself & how do i stop thinking the things i am? Without letting what's
been said to me get in the way
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
Don't give up. You've been given one life, do you really want to let mean family members ruin it for you? I've been in your shoes before, and sometimes I still slip into a depressed, unmotivated mode where I feel like life is too much. The best advice I can give you is that things will get better. You have to ignore these comments from your family and know that the real you is better than they say. Find something you like to do and do it. Don't give up, things will get better, I promise.
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What is often going on in such emotionally abusive circumstances is that your family members actually feel like failures themselves and, as I have said before, losers like nothing more than to take others down with them. They are engaging in what psychologists call "projection," whereby they accuse you of having the same faults they themselves possess as a way to make themselves feel better.
Ultimately, it is your life and you need to take control of it and not let others gain control over you. So you need to come up with a strategy for getting yourself out of that family situation (going away to college would be a good idea) since you don't want to be sucked into the vortex of their personal self esteem issues.
Use the disparaging words as motivation for being successful. Try to spend as little time at home as possible. Spend time after school doing your homework or reading in the library, being among friends who have a higher opinion of you and exploring hobbies. Get a job and save the money for college. Then when you graduate, go live in a foreign country for a while to expand your horizons and understanding of the world.
Again, remember that you are being mentally and emotionally abused here. Don't let them win. Totally ignore their negative messages (that actually have more to do with their personal neuroses) and make your own path.
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Hi, I'm old enough to be your grandfather. I hope the wisdom that comes with age and life experience will be helpful to you.
Somethings are easier said than done. I could write a long list of things you could do to try and lift your self esteem. Problem is by your own admission you lack motivation which after reading your note to us is understandable.
How you feel and what you feel your family is saying to has not happened overnight. Correcting how you feel will not happen overnight either and will not happen without professional help.
It is my feeling that the brow beating you are taking has not only lowered your self worth and destroyed your motivation. You have also developed some form of depression. Because of this you need to have professional help to treat the depression while helping you get your self esteem back and raising your level of motivation. These things are all tied together.
Will you need medication? This is between you and your doctor. Medication will make you feel better and if you feel better you will heal faster. You need to check in with your family doctor and be screened for depression.
After you have seen your family doctor and a course of treatment is agreed upon you need to find a therapist for talk therapy. The most important thing about finding a therapist is finding one you are comfortable with. There are as many different types of therapy as there are practitioners. Interview therapists just as you would anyone else you are going to hire to work for you. In this case you want someone you are comfortable with and someone you trust to tell your deepest and darkest secrets too. All therapist have doctor patient confidentiality by law, this does not mean you will feel comfortable talking to any one particular therapist.
Once you find a therapist you are comfortable with you work with him/her by being open and honest. Remember everything and anything that happens in therapy stays in therapy.
The only other advise I can offer is: If you are still living at home you need to find away to move out. From what you have written your home environment will not be conducive to you finding what you need to deal with your family and to get your life back.
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Ignore what your family is saying. Their probably just jelaous. try and set little goals for yourself and then once you achieve one then you will feel more motavated and to do the next. and then soon all these little goals can lead to one big achievement. don't listen to your family because they are just trying to put you done so that you become what they say you will. don't let them win. get ahead in life and show them that you are something in life. hope this helps.
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