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Is he lieing? I don't think I could trust him after seeing that!
I have a boyfriend of 4 years. Here recently, a couple days before our 4 year which was like a week ago I went on to my boyfriends Facebook, just to randomly check up on him. I go through his messages and come across a conversation that my boyfriend started up. It goes along the lines of " Hey so I just wanted to let you know I had the biggest crush on you back in BCIS class and I thought you were cute" she said aww why didnt you tell me? i feel the same kind of thing. and he mentioned he STILL thinks shes cute and that the vodka helps. Gave his number to her and the next morning puts "even sober I meant all that" After that, I was BEYOND pissed and confronted him about it. He claimed he got drunk with a couple friends and left his Facebook up and his friend talked to a couple people. Obviously I don't believe him and his friend called me up and wanted to make sure he told me he's the one who talked to her and sorry for getting him in trouble and that he thought it was funny at the time. Also, I went ahead and messaged that girl, and of course she didn't respond like I thought. Which makes it seem more supicious. With all that said, I am not sure how to approach this issue. I often bring up I am still upset with him and he continues to deny it all. I feel as though it is never-ending. I don't know if I should either brush it off or end it between us because I don't think I could trust him after seeing that.
Any ideas?
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well if this is the first time hes done anything related to this than i personally think you should give him another chance. not saying you should trust him right away but you should try gving him another chance. think about what i said, or maybe you should try sitting him down and having a deep confersation. that could probably help too.
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if u dont trust him then u should break up
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Onestly im not judging you cos i dont see anything wrong with looking at my bf's fb if he's doing the same thing (reading phone texts etc). but these things only happen if you dont trust your bf/gf. it's kinda worrying that he's flirting with this 'cute' girl. i suggest you drop the subject when you talk to him, but quietly check his fb or email without him noticing (note: he MUST NOT NOTICE). and if he's still flirting around with the girl (or other girls), take a screenshot and confront him.
but if he doesnt do anything of the sort for like, say, 3 months, then stop checking his fb and treat that flirting as a one time thing. and trust him. sometimes being drunk makes you do stupid things.
GOODLUCK!
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And this is why I hate Facebook. What gives you the right to dog around on his messages? That's just like if he takes your phone and reads your texts. How pissed would you be if someone did that to you? I mean really.
Let it go. Especially if it's a one time thing. He didn't cheat on you. And honestly, no matter who your involved with they are always going to at least find other people attractive.
Moral of the story: no he shouldn't have messaged her. Yes he's probably lying, but is a Facebook message really worth losing your relationship over?
Also I hope you learned your lesson about snooping, it leads to nothing but trouble.
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Could you please email me and tell me if he has done things like this before (get drunk and send strange girls messages). If he has done this before, I think he and his friend could be telling the truth. IF he doesn't do this often, he is probably lying to you, and he made his friend lie to you too. If you want any more advice, please email me on AskAliceMadisson@hotmail.com. IF you don't trust that I give professional advice, please go to my temporary website to see to examples of advice I gave to people, which helped them. My website is www.askalicemadisson.webstarts.com
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Is this the first time something like this has happened? If so, I'd be more inclined to give him the benefit of the doubt. Even though the story is a little fishy sounding. Out of curiosity, was it his number given to this girl or the friends number?
If you decide to brush it off, you have to stop bringing it up. I mean forever. Bringing it up all the time will just cause arguments & will do nothing to help your relationship. Its not only a reminder that he MAY have done wrong, but that you did too. You didn't trust him.
If you don't think you can ever forgive him enough to completely put it behind you and trust him, then end it. There is nothing worse than being in a relationship where you always worry & suspect someone of cheating.
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Wait, you logged onto his Facebook "just to randomly check up on him"? No matter how you spin it, you completely violated any sense of trust or privacy. Don't try to make yourself out as a caring girlfriend that was looking out for him; you were being a selfish, insecure girlfriend.
As far as the rest of your question goes, there are just too many conflicting personas and scenarios for me to give informed advice. But I think any other chinks in this four year relationship can probably be traced back to a lack of trust and an abundance of insecurity.
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