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My best friends fight a lot
I have two really good friends. I'll call one Jen and one Lydia.
Jen is nice sometimes but other times (I hate to call her this) she's a real b****. Lydia is nice all the time, for the most part.
Well because of Jen (usually) they fight a lot. Recently they have been arguing because on V-Day Jen said to us 'I love you, no homo.' I understand that she doesn't want to seem lesbian. Lydia doesn't. She says that we know we're straight and it's ok without the no homo.
I don't want to take sides. I agree with Lydia that we're close enough to just say it, but I also think it's ok to clarify the no homo. Also, Lydia has a gay brother. (we all accept this.)
I hate when they fight and I want to help them resolve their conflict. Currently they are ignoring each other. What should I do? Thank you
Also we're all girls, Jen and I are in 9th grade and Lydia is in 10th.
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Honestly there's no real reason for Lydia to be upset that Jen added no homo at the end of I love you guys. Its just a comment it holds no weight, Lydia should have just laughed about it or ignored it instead she took something that really wasn't anything and turned it in to a big deal. You stated Jen can sometimes be a real you know what and Lydia is always nice for the most part, if this is the case it might very well be that Lydia is just tired of Jen, she could be to the point were she will find everything that Jen says or does offensive and will being to point out all of Jen's flaws . I think Lydia should think of all the things that Jen has done in the past that have offended her and decide what all these things have in common as in why is Lydia offended by these things, Once Lydia knows what causes her to become upset with Jen or feel hurt by Jen. She should see the situation in a new light that will allow for a positive out come.
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Well it may be hard to accept but it just isn't your place to resolve this. It's their fight and it will only become yours if you involve yourself. I advise you stay out of it and let them work it out for themselves. In 9th and 10th grade you don't need to fight about such minutia. It's pointless, regardless of who's right or wrong. Fighting solves nothing and is the least constructive form of communication if it can even be called that. Just refuse to be any part of their drama and be the neutral friend of both of them.
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Personally, I agree with Lydia. The 'no homo' comment is so stupid, and kind of immature. Does it really need to be said? When I tell my friends I love them, I don't feel the need to add 'no homo' after it. There's no reason to. I'm comfortable with who I am, and I don't see why people would assume you're gay anyways if they know that you guys are close friends.
I mean, when you're visiting a dead relatives grave & you say "I love you" to them, are you going to add 'no necrophilia' after it? No. If you tell a sibling or family member you love them, are you going to add 'no incest,' to the end of it? Not really. You shouldn't have to add 'no homo' when telling your friends that you care about them and appreciate their friendship. Lydia has every right to be offended/annoyed with Jen.
If you don't want to get in the middle of it, then don't. Stay out of it and don't worry. They will make up on their own time, but if you really think you should speak up and back up Lydia, then go for it.
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Haha well It's simple if you don't your friend to be fighting anymore all you have to do is agree to disagree. What I mean is everyone is allowed their own opinion so just tell them it's okay to have their own opinion.
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The only way to solve it is to tell jen to just dont bother with the comments., Thats an old comment anyway let it go. FRIENDS dont find over dumb stuff. Either tell her not to say it or dont hang out anymore. But jen needs to stop saying it and Lydia needs to lighten up a lil just because her bro is gay doesnt mean the world doesnt stop jking!!! But everyone is different so if you guys like to hang with her jen should stop saying bs like that
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