Question Posted Wednesday February 2 2011, 12:57 pm
Ok, a few years ago, my best friend got involved with this guy. I liked him when I first met him, but then I found out from several people that he was weird. So I convinced her to stop going out with him (they were never really "together"). Ok, he called her non-stop; she never picked up and he wouldn't take the hint. He even got her number and called her at work. Finally, I called him and told him it was over. She never heard from him again after that.
Now, however, I found out that he is dating my cousin's friend. I don't really know her, but I think I should warn her about him. This guy is a weirdo and a stalker, and I think any woman he comes in contact with should be warned about him. I just don't know if it is my place to tell her. Any help would be appreciated.
You can state your opinions, You can tell them what you've heard or seen but sometimes people need to see and learn for themselves whether that would be the easy or the hard way. If your cousin's friend is dating this guy let her take care of it as it is her problem and not yours. [ Xui's advice column | Ask Xui A Question ]
Razhie answered Wednesday February 2 2011, 2:47 pm: It's really not your place.
If you feel REALLY strongly that there is something to be warned of, you can gently share your story with your cousin, but you MUST remembered that it was many years ago and this boy might have grown up quite a bit since then. Let your cousin decide if it's important to tell their friend, but you have absolutely no business intruding any further than that.
Calling someone at work is very inappropriate, and calling nonstop is very rude, but it sounds to me like your friend might not have given him a clear message of stop. He got the message �stop� when he spoke to you, which seems to say he IS capable of understanding that message, and behaving appropriately.
Nothing you said here implies the guy is a danger, just socially inept. Let your cousin � who knows her friend and her friends relationship better � decide if this matters at all, but tell her calmly and without calling him �stalker�. He didn�t stalk her, he was just a little weird and rude. People can grow out of being weird and rude, and he deserves a chance. Let your cousin � who knows her friend and likely has seen the couple together � be the judge if there is anything to pass on. But if what you wrote here is the whole story, it sounds to me to be just nasty gossip about an old mistake, not something a girl to be warned off of. [ Razhie's advice column | Ask Razhie A Question ]
MissYMelisS answered Wednesday February 2 2011, 2:43 pm: I fail to see how its any of your buisness. You arn't friends with your cousins friend.
Heck you even LIKED him before you heard from other people. Dont let what other people think guide your life. If shes dating him she obviously likes him and its none of you buisness. [ MissYMelisS's advice column | Ask MissYMelisS A Question ]
NinjaNeer answered Wednesday February 2 2011, 2:34 pm: Now, maybe we don't know enough of the background story, but it sounds like you've been far too involved already.
You really shouldn't have had your friend end a relationship based on what you've heard from other people. Both of you seem to have thought he was just fine before listening to what others say, so maybe you should have gone with your own opinion instead of theirs. In any case, your friend should have been the one to decide whether he was okay to date or not, not you, and especially not just because he's "weird" according to other people.
Calling this guy a stalker is unfair. So he didn't get the hint. He didn't show up at her house in the middle of the night, he didn't threaten her and he let it go after you talked to him. Personally, if someone just stopped picking up the phone, I'd keep calling too. There is nothing to warn your cousin's friend about. Now, if there's something that is a real threat that you haven't told us about, then you may want to tell your cousin so they can tell their friend themselves. Otherwise, it's probably best to stay out of it. [ NinjaNeer's advice column | Ask NinjaNeer A Question ]
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