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He told me he was going to commit suicide, what do I do?
16/F
I am really worried right now. I'm talking to a friend of my sister's and he seemed like a happy go lucky guy, making jokes. He's a little overweight, really funny, he stutters, but he's still awesome to be around. Well, I've been talking to him privately on facebook and he's talking about killing himself, saying he can't get the girl of his dream, he can't talk right, he's hated, he's reached everything he's capable of and whatnot. He's about 14 or 15. I'm getting worried because he keeps saying he's gonna do it and he's trying to decide which way to do it. I want to tell his mother, someone, ANYONE, but I think I'm the only one he's told and I don't want him to hate me for trying to help. I'm trying to contact his mother. Is this the best thing to do?
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Talk him out of it, and be sure to remind him how licky he really is to have so many people who love him so much that they would try to save his life.
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Perhaps you could tell the school counselor. You never know what will happen with that though. Some of them are naive and do not understand or believe the seriousness of his remarks. Of course this would only help if he would be willing to open up to them.
The risk is greater if he not only says he wants to die but that he is going to do it. The more specific he is about when where and how (especially if he has something like a gun) the more serious he is. If he starts giving away things that is a sign. Sometimes they abruptly get this rather bizarre sense of peace which is not really victory over his problems but resignation.
If you think he is in immediate danger do not try to play counselor. Call the police. I called the police on a friend of mine once for that. I did not care that it offended her. What are friends for if not to keep their friends alive?
I have dealt with this sort of thing before. Only a few weeks ago. She mentioned her depression and said she was afraid to go home because of what she might do. I ended up taking her to the hospital.
Ordinarily they keep them overnight for observation. In some cases that is what they need. It gets them through the crisis. Who knows? Maybe it will motivate them to get some help.
He really wants help. He just feels helpless and overwhelmed and does not know how to stop the pain but even though he hides what he is going through he wants to talk. Encourage him to see a therapist.
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You are definitely right for trying to contact his mother. If for some reason you can't get in touch with her, does he have any other relatives you can contact? A father, or a grandparent maybe? If not, definitely get in touch with the police. They won't arrest him, but they will go over there with paramedics and get him to a hospital for a mental evaluation. He could likely be there for a couple of days, maybe longer if they think he is unsafe to be alone.
Definitely tell someone though. He may seem happy on the outside, but if he's talking about suicide, there is something deeply troubling him and he needs help. Suicide is not a joke, and it's not the answer. He may be mad at you at first, but I wouldn't worry about that. Once he gets help and gets his life in shape, he'll end up thanking you for saving his life. Please get him the help he needs.
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I agree with solid advice 4 teens: Tell your parents what you know and show them what your friend has written on facebook. Ask them to contact the local Police or Sheriffs Office. They could also so contact the County Office of Family Services as well. The quicker response will most likely come from law enforcement.
The good news here is your friend is still thinking about suicide, he has not made a plan yet. The time to really worry is if and when he tells you he has a plan on how to kill himself. This is a signal that he has made a decision. Acting now to intervene is the right thing to do for him. If is far better to have a friend an have them hate you for breaking a confidence then a friend that may have killed themself.
I'll let you in on a little secrete here; while your friend does not realize this, by taking you into his confidence about what he is thinking he is really asking for help. So help him by going to your parents and telling them what you know and asking them to intervene.
Your friend is depressed. Teenage depression is more prevalent than most people think. Most parents mistake it for problems with puberty, a phase, one which a teenager will grow out of.
Your friends stuttering probably causes him to be picked upon or bullied at school. This is also the reason for his being overweight. We eat for it gives us comfort.
Mel Tillis is a singer with a beautiful voice. To hear him sing you would never know he stutters badly. At first most people thought his stuttering was part of a comedy routine because that is how it was portrayed in movies. I tell you this because Mel Tiles my age, I'm old enough to be your grandfather. Back then there was not much help for stuttering. Today there is, once your boyfriends depression is addressed a speech therapist along with his therapist for the depression can work to help him control his stuttering.
So please go talk to your parent now.
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Maybe the best way to go about this inst telling the mom but telling the school councilor and letting her/him deal with the situation. There trained for this kind of thing. witch is more important to you. Keeping a friend and burring him? Or losing a friend but saving his life? You don't want his death on your conscious. That will haunt you for the rest of your life
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Honestly of what you wrote it seems as if he is trying to seek out attention. Yes talking to his mother would be your best bet and if she doesnt understand contact the authorties at your local police department. Good Luck
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When you know someone has been threatening to kill themselves them hating you for telling others is the least of concerns for you both. Remember when you were little and you were told there are some things we don't keep secret?
This is one of those situations. What you need to do is archive all the conversations from Facebook and don't delete them. Show your parents what he has been saying TONIGHT and let them deal with it for you. You can also do the same thing with a school teacher or counselor.
Either way, squawk like a canary and get him help. If he gets upset over it at least you knew you did the right thing by acting on it. It sounds as though he has some serious mental health and other issues to work through and is in crisis and actually a danger to himself in that state of mind.
The only thing you can do and the right thing to do is A) express how much he is valued B) Don't respond directly after that C) Show your parents everything he wrote D) Let an adult handle it and E)Know that you did the right thing with the information.
Don't delete a thing he sends either as those helping him need to know where his head was at and the core issues he's dealing with. It's a tough thing to handle but you need to show this level of concern no matter whether you think he'll hurt himself or not.
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