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reminiscing the past?
17/F , sorry if this is so long. Well my boyfriend who is 20 have been dating for 3 months now, and I met him because his sister was one of my really good friends from dance in school. I ended up meeting him, and immediately we fell for each other. He treats me like a princess, tells me I'm beautiful at least 10 times a day, tells me I'm amazing in bed,
Has gone on family trips with me, and has introduced me to his WHOLE family. We rarely talk about his past but what I do know is he dated this girl Ashley for 4 years and they broke up because she cheated, and I know he loved her.. Obviously. They broke up during the summer, and me and him met in october. So it wasn't that long ago. The other day I was at his house and decided to be nosey and look through his history. I had found he was going on her facebook page almost everyday and looking at her pictures and seeing her statuses, when all he does is claim to me how much he hates her guts and how he could care less about the bitch. I confronted him about it and he said he was " just curious " I was heartbroken. I don't know what to do, I love him and care about him so much but I don't want to get my heart broken if he still cares about her. What should I do?
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This is pretty normal behavior. Just because he's looking does not mean that he's still in love with her, but it does mean that he has some serious hang-ups. In other words, this is not a hanging offense; just give him some time and make your feelings on the subject known and things should correct themselves. Remind him frequently how much you like him and try not to say anything too bad about the ex as well, as it could look bad for you in the long run.
-Pax
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i was in the same case as yours and i waited for her anwser on the case i asked her if she still likes him and she said no and so i just waited for him 2 stop it he did eventuly
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So obviously she meant a lot to him. I really don't think you have anything to worry about unless they are talking all the time. Me and my ex broke up a few months ago and I'm with a new guy. I really care about him and I can tell you I have no feelings for my ex but I still look at him facebook and all that. I don't know why. I know I don't care for him anymore because I'm over him and I have someone so much better. It's just what people do. I even look at my exes page from 2 years ago every now and then. Don't worry about it. If you trust him then there shouldn't be a a problem.
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I don't think he still likes her anymore. He is probably just wondering what she is up too. I know friends do that because one of my friends broke it off with me and I was wondering what he was doing. It's not because I liked him he was just important to me in my life and I've known him for so long.
Back to your problem he dated her for so long its natural for him to wonder what she's up too day to day. She's probably wondering the same about him. He still loves you and if it bothers you that much tell him to stop. I would be heartbroken too if I found that out. But it's ok as long as he isn't contacting her every day or at least talking to her first then everything is FINE. Don't worry about it too much. But that's good that you confronted him about it. Because maybe he will stop doing it now that you know he stalks her Facebook. hope i helped :)
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After spending 4 years with her and it was her fault the relationship ended, i'm sure she still holds a small place in his heart that he won't be able to let go of for a long time. I believe that if she we're to ask him to get back together he would go. That being said, it doesn't mean he doesn't care for you any less. Give him the time and space he needs to fully get over this relationship. Let him know that you are concerned he may be tempted to contact his ex but that would be a bad idea because of how she hurt him. I hope this helps and good luck.
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Is it concerning? Sure, a little bit.
Does it mean he still has romantic interest in her? Not by a long shot.
In a world before MySpace and Facebook, after a bad break up people would make sidelong comments, or gentle inquiries to find out what their ex up too. It’s a natural curiosity; the online world just gives us new and obsessive ways to feed that monster. If he is otherwise a good, respectful partner, than he likely was 'just curious'.
He spent four years of his life with her, and now he probably doesn't speak a word to her. That's a startling change, and even if he doesn’t want to ever speak to her again, it's perfectly normal to be curious what she is doing and what direction her life is taking her and the people around her who he also doesn’t speak to anymore. Obviously, he is angry and hurt, and angry is a feeling. He doesn't 'care less'. He still cares a great deal, and that is okay. That doesn't mean he is going to leave you. It just means he has 'feelings', not rommantic interest, just a bunch of 'feelings' towards her and the situation.
Right now, the way he is expressing all those mixed up feelings about the past and his ex is through Facebook stalking. It's not a good way to handle it, but it doesn't mean he still likes her. It doesn't mean that at all.
If he says he doesn't want to speak to her and has no rommantic interest in her anymore, trust him.
Obviously tell him the Facebook stalking worries you (and it is something he should try to stop – it’s not healthy to obsess like that over anyone) and then just let it go. Between being embarrassed and naturally moving on with his life, the behaviour will probably stop on its own over time.
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I would be careful. The fact that he is looking at her facebook page everyday, says he isn't over this girl. And his "just curious" response was obviously a lie. You should be careful. Talk to him again maybe, let him know why your concern.
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