|
When I grow up I want be a housewife, mother, and stay at home mom
I have a huge problem. I'm in 10th grade and the school wants me to pick what I want to be when I "grow up" and go to college. What I REALLY want to be is a stay at home mom who raises kids and takes care of a husband. I know most girls don't want that any more and they want to be out there in the workforce but it just isn't what I want for myself.
The school wants me to choose a "real" job though. We have an occupation list we can choose from with some ideas and nothing on there says what I want. I tried to explain that I don't want to go to college and become a brain surgeon. They told me I HAVE to choose something. I think it's GREAT other girls want to do those types of things, spend all of that time in college, and earn great degrees...but that ain't me.
What do I do? I don't plan to go to college for anything other than to take a couple of classes just to have that experience. I figure after I get out of high school I'd work as a cashier or in a daycare or something until I end up getting married and settling down with someone. The school won't listen and tells me it's nonsense.
So, what do I do? I mean, what should I choose, if anything? I feel like I'm backed into a corner here. What ever happened to being able to grow up to be whatever you want to be? I told my mom and my dad and they're both kind of mad that the teachers won't acknowledge what I want to be. Nothing else really interests me as something I want to do for the rest of my life. I just want to get married, have babies, and take care of my husband, children, and home. What do I do?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Work & School category?
Maybe give some free advice about: School?
I am 18 yeasr old ai all i want to do is be a stay at home mother by boyfrend and i haev also mad aplans for our furtre.
the only things that stand is the way is my mother who wants me to get a real job and such,
but as i thing that it is my life and even tho ppl may not approve of my chooice i know what is best for me and what will make me happy so do what maks you happy and dont let anyone stop you from doing that :)
]
well you have the choice to do what you want to do and i really admire that you want to be a stay at home mom you hardly get that these days. for your assignment you could always just lie i mean you're in the tenth grade you have a little bit more time in school then you're done lol so just lie about it nobody would know
]
My how times have changed. When I was your age women's liberation was still in its infancy. Girls were not encouraged as they are today to plan for college. Instead they were given Home Economics' Course and vocational instruction.
As you can tell I'm somewhat older than the other advisers who have answered before me. In fact I am old enough to be your grandfather, so a little grandfatherly advice is in order.
There is nothing wrong with your life plan and my hope for you is that you are able to fulfill your plan and live what has always been the American Dream. But, and there will always be a but someplace, we still have to get you past and to pass this assignment. With in this assignment there are a number of legitimate career paths.
The one that stands out in your plan is raising your children. Raising children equates to childcare worker, preschool teacher or even school teacher grades 1 to 12. All of which are meaningful occupations which you can go to college for, step away from while raising your own children and return to should you need to or wish to at a later date.
I'm sure the occupation of teacher is on the list and preschool teacher should also be there. Choosing one of these two will satisfy the assignment and hopefully help you decide what classes you might take for the time you spend in college. You also mentioned working in daycare until you get married. Why not work as the teacher and earn real money instead of as the aide for what will amount to just over minimum wage.
My objective here was to satisfy the assignment and stay somewhat within the bounds of what you truly want as your life plan. I think I have done that. I also wanted to offer you some insight into what College classes are out there that would also fit your plan.
]
I am all those things. I didn't have that as my goal as a teenager, but here I am. It is a valid and important CHOICE and one you shouldn't be ashamed of. However, you need to think about what will make you the BEST wife and mother. THAT's where the plan comes in. I went to college, worked and made a life for myself. I discovered a lot about myself, what I liked, what I wanted in my life, and all those things gave me the ability to, when I finally found the right man, become a good mother and wife and housewife (well, the housewife part I'm still perfecting ; ) I just say all that to let you know that while your choice is not a silly one, and is every bit as important as someone who wants to be a doctor or a scientist, there is still preparation that has to go into it. So, with that ultimate goal on your mind, think about what it is you'd like to do while your WAITING for that part of your life. You like kids? Do you like to write? Do you like taking care of people? Think about how those desires could lead you into a profession that you would be happy to work in until you become a stay at home mother with a husband. After all, you'll need to support yourself until it all comes together. No man wants a useless woman. No man wants a woman who doesn't know what real life is like. The more you work toward being independent and happy, the closer you will come to being a worthy wife, mother, and homemaker. That may sound weird, but trust me. I know what I'm talking about. I've been a wife and mother for 12 years. Good luck!
]
On one hand, I feel bad for you because it's perfectly fair to want to be a housewife.
On the other hand, becoming a housewife is dependent on a bunch of factors outside of your control, which why when the assignment is to 'Make a Plan' you can't do that. Becoming a housewife is contingent on finding a mate, one who can support you if you choose to stay at home, it's contingent to a degree on the fertility of both of you, and on the success of your marriage in the long-term (not something that should be taken for granted in this day and age, it's very easy to say "I have a goal of not divorcing" but almost 50% of people do divorce and I doubt many of them would have said that was thier goal.)
So the school insisting for the sake of this project you make a plan, one that you have greater control over and can help you structure goals, is not quite as unfair as it seems at first. It's understandable that they would want to encourage you just to be able to think in those terms, even if you do get exactly what you want. Your goals aren't 'nonsense' but they are 'not applicable to this assignment', and it's not unfair to have to do the assignment anyways. I'm sure there are a good number of people in your class who are going to sit on their asses after high school and smoke pot. They can't write a completely honest response to this project either, but they still need to do so in order to be graded (although, they might not all care that much about their grade I suppose...)
I'm a little surprised you didn't immediately gravitate towards something like doing a degree in early childhood education, or nursing. There are certificate programs that can make you able to run in-home daycare centres (which can be a very good source of income for a stay-at-home mom if she needs it). The amount you'd be able to charge for childcare would increase substantially if you also held a degree or certificate in early childhood development, education or nursing.
Finally, remember this is just an assignment. It would probably be perfectly possible to write the assignment pretending that you wanted to be female entertainment wrestler or champion pole dancer. Sometimes our education does actually just require us to jump through the appropriate hoops in order to satisfy the learning requirements. It can be annoying but it's not really worth turning into an ethical dilemma. No one is going to hold you to whatever you wrote down in a 10th grade assignment. You aren't being asked to lie, you are being asked to think in a very specific way. You just have to prove that you can use your brain to write logically about a possible career path. No one is saying it MUST be the one you follow. The curriculum is only trying to make sure that you can establish long term goals, and completely short term projects that help you work towards those larger goals in regards to a profession. It's a good thing to know how to do, even though it doesn't feel particularly relevant to who you are or what you want right at this moment.
It's a bit like those math problems where you are asked when two trains will pass eachother based on how fast they are traveling and how far they have to go. You'll NEVER have to solve that problem in your real life with trains. Ever. But there are similar, simplier problems that understanding those equations means you are capable of solving. It's important you learn to think that way, even if the praticular situation is not something that will ever happen to you.
]
More Questions: |