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humorist-workshop
My mom is obsessed with... hair?
hi... as funny as this sounds, this a really weird and bad situation and I was hoping I could get some advice from you guys. My mom is ltierally obsessed with hair, but not just any hair, MY hair. She's always "liked" hair, I guess you could say. She should have become a beutician! She loves to do make up and all of that stuff. But, lately, the obsession has grown to the point where she really doesn't let me live. About a year and half ago, I had an eating disorder. I was anorexic and mildly bullemic. However, during this time period, a lot of my hair fell out. It was not just that. It was also the fact that I had done a lot of things to my hair. But at the time, I was like 17 or 18 and I just wanted to experiment with different things. My natural hair color is an ash brown. It's actually very pretty. I've always just done highlights and lowlights for it not to be so ashy. But, it is a nice color. I don't have a problem with it. My senior year of high school, I just bleached my hair blonde, blonde, blonde. It didn't look ugly, but after I while, I just didn't feel like myself. I tried different shades of brown, and I thought that for now, any brown would look fine because you wouldn't notice the hair growing back as much as you would in blonde. My roots looked almost black next to that hair color because it was so light. But, the bleach and other stuff made my hair fall out. I cut my hair around shoulder length and it wasn't short. Just normal. I got extentions to make myself feel a little better because not only was it shorter than my hair usually was (it was usually up to my waist), but it it was very thin and it had no volume. My mom has become obsessed with those extentions.
The other day, I needed to redo the extentions because they had already grown out a lot. They just needed to bring them up. In doing this, the lady doing my hair had put a toner (which isn't a hair dye, it's like something that just enhances your color, makes it look brighter). It came out a little red. So, I went back and she put something else in it to take out that red. The red was very potent. I had to take it out. Now my hair looks a little darker. After a couple of washes, it will wash out. It's not that big of a deal. But my mom went CRAZY. She was like that's too dark and she was like almost crying in the car. She's like going crazy. Then today, when I woke up, the quality of the hair was really bad. Like, it was brittle and frizzy and I just went yesturday to go get it fixed! She had ANOTHER fit. And she said that she was going to call her today and she was going to have to fix my color.
I understand where my mom is coming from and why she is upset. The hair looked terrible today and we paid good money for it. However, when it comes to the color, and the way she's going about it, she's out of control! I mean, I'm 19 and I think I can handle these things myself. I really look fine. It's just the quality of the hair that's bad. But... my mom doesn't even let me wash my own hair! She says she has to do it for me! I really don't feel comfortable taking out my extensions until my hair grows out just a little bit more. But, how can I deal with my mom? I don't think it's hair necessarily that she's obsessed with. I think she's just using that to cover up for other things. It's always my hair! She never asks me about school, work, boyfriends, you know, important things! How can I deal with her and what do I do about the hair until it grows back?
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She just cares. Nothing more, nothing less.
It must have been a stressful time for you and your mother when you had your eating disorders and now it's probably rubbed off on her, where she just wants what's best for you.. because after all, you'll always be her little girl, no matter how old you are.
Some mothers do get like this.. and at the end of the day, you should be flattered by it, not freaked out, because it proves how much she cares, about something so simple, like hair extensions. She just wants you to look your best after the tough time you went through.
Just talk to her about it. I think she just needs reassuring that you can do things yourself. Tell her you want to experiment in your own way and if something goes wrong, you can sort it out yourself. If she doesn't like what you're doing with your hair, tell her that you do like it, but you appreciate her opinions and how she's looking out for you.
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Hm.. I guess our mum's are just so used to seeing us one way and all mum's are biast.. They think their children are georgous not matter what anyone else says..
So I guess maybe what your mum is thinking is that if your hair isn't close to what it was before you started colouring, your not the same person?!
OR..
Just a thought..
Perhaps when you had your eating disorder, she felt guilty for not taking control and she blames herself?! Mothers are suppose to pick up on these things (apparently)!
Maybe she's thinking she couldn't control your eating habbits but now she's over obsessive and she can see your hair getting out of control and she's taking action? Like she feels she should have when you started getting symptoms of your eating disorders?!
Well done for over coming your disorder by the way!
Hope I helped :)
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wow!haha welll my mom is like the same way.
one time i got highlights and they really fucked my hair up and my mom went INSANNNEEE!. what i did wass tell her to calm down because all you have to do is deep condition it everyday and not really straaighten it as much. but for your mom you should tell her that your a grown woman who can handle your problems (in a nice way) put in a i love you in there somewhere haha so she doesnt get too sensative. hopefully shell realize you make ure own mistakes and you learn from them.
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