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children do not care
My children, particularly the 10 and 11 year-old, do not seem to have any regard for rules. Simple requests, such as bringing down dirty clothes and linens, are ignored. Their only response when asked why they did not is only a shrug or "I don't know". We have noticed that this behavior is carrying over to school, as well. When asked if they have any homework, etc., they almost always say no, but we have been contacted by teachers that they are not turning in assignments. We have removed games, TV, ipods, computers, cell phone use and at one point removed our oldest from basketball, but they really do not seem to care. At least not to the point of any improvement. I don't know how to discipline someone who simply does not care. Need advice...
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They are showing you they don't care because they think you won't stick to your word. Dont let them use the T.v, hang out with friends, buy special stuff, go places, use electronics or anything special or do anything for them till they shape up. it's not ok when the do this. Keep saying what you will till they do. I'm 12 and this is the way I learned but I happen to have very strict parents who sometimes have to teach me the hard wy but I've learned. Also it might be the friends they hang out with...are they inaappropriete or do this to their parents? Find out why first.
Hope it works out well :D
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Well, this is a diffcult subject as each kid's behaviour is different. You should try and sit them down and lay out the rules. Write them down on a piece of cardboard and stick it up some where in the house.
Their should be compulsory punishments for each bad thing they do, example; not doing their homework = no T.V for 1 week or not bringing down dirty clothes = do their own washing.
A good thing to rememeber is to ALWAYS reward them in a small way, when they do something good. Perhaps having a chart with stickers and when they do something good with out being asked, you add a star and after they collect a certain number of stars they get a reward. Example; pick what's for dinner.
This will give them a good reason to behave well.
Good Luck (:
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i still remember when i got things taken away because i didnt do something really maybe it works but in their minds there thinking i hate them it doesnt do anything to yell or take things away like ill still do what i want. seriously i thought all of that stuff like what ever you do take everything i really dont care i can just get it back when your not looking or why do i care now if your just going to take my stuff. the rule in my house was to get homework down as soon as you get home and at that age we sat down with our parents and took our stuff out so that they could look at it. you should ask do you have any homework if they say no then ask to see what they did that day if you see a sheet of paper not done ask how come this isnt done and what not or call thier teacher and ask them to write on thier sheets of paper that our homework and write homework on the top of it so when you look in thier folder to see what homework is what youll knw. yelling and taking things away doesnt allways work they just hate you more kinda. and in my opinion they shouldnt have a cell phone to begin with if they act like that at any rate. tell them until i see improved grades or homework being done everynight even if they say they dont have them read a book like harry potter. or twilight. also my rule from my parents are if your average isnt above a b then you dont get your cell phone firends or whatever till you see improvement.
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I would give there items back to them. Sit down after school at the table until homework iss taking out and completed. Be in the room while they do chores. Have them do their own laundry , make them wash off their own dishes. My 3 year old cleans his room with out being asked picked up his toy snad puts them in his toy box. puts dirty clothes in the laundry basket. even trys to make his own bed. (which of course he cant) i asked him to pick up his toys if he told me no i went into his room with him and told him what to pick up where it goes etc.
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I think the problem is that they're getting things taken away. What you should be doing is giving them a punishment such as cleaning the entire house, organizing stuff within cabinets, re-arranging furniture...get creative! give them a chance to build character by helping out in ways they normally wouldn't want to help out in.
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hey so whenever i do something wrong my mom gives me consequences. if they decide that they're not going to do the laundry take their clothes and put it in a bag and tell them they won't get it back til they decide to do their laundry. and as for their grades being low, they need improve them. continue to take things away from them, im pretty sure they care. try to sit down with them and help them with homework. Make it clear also that you have received phone calls from their teacher, that they haven't been doing well in school and if they continue to do this they will continue to receive punishments. they need to do well so they can pass. and as a parent you need to keep giving them consequences. when they come home from school ask them to get their folder and bring it to you if that what it takes, and sit down with them and see what they need to do. i hope i helped. Nikita
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