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sex...
so all my friends have already had sex, and me, well, i havent. im scared its gonna hurt and such. i have a very low pain tolerance. its beyond low. anyways, i feel like im uncomfortable with my body. im comfortable with it, i just dont know if im comfortable with anyone else seeing it. i really love my boyfriend and when its the right time, i wanna do it for the first time with him, but i wanna make sure im comfortable. is there anyway to do this? and is there any explanation for the way i feel?
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when your ready you'll know dont give up your pride because you feel you need to. hold on to it and when its the right time you'll know. and i used to be like you about my body. i felt like if anybody else would see they would'nt like it. but when i got with my first guy he said he loved the way it looked. now we have a baby together and gonna have another one. he still says it looks great speacially with the nasty stretch marks from my first child. but if he really loves you than he wouldnt care what your body looks like he will still love it.
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I think if your not comfortable, it means your not ready. All my friends were having sex before me too. I had sex when i felt comfortable. Im a self consciouse person but my partner helped me feel comfortable and thats when i did it, i was ready.
That was one of the things i was scared too of the pain. But maybe thats just an excuse we make up because we are new to it and we are not ready.
When i did it for the first time, it hurt the first couple of times, but i did it without thinking twice, it felt right and i was comfortable. So dont rush into it because everyone one is doing it. Do it once your ready.
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I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you may have received and may continue to receive from others.
I found the following website while answering a very similar question for other young ladies. I believe you should review this website before making any decision about having sex, starting with “Am I ready?”
On the subject of are you ready: all I will say is sexual intercourse is a beautiful thing between two loving responsible people. At your age sex for you as a woman is different than fore the boy. You are more emotionally mature than a partner would at the same age by about 2 years. Sex for a woman most always have a loving relationship, meaning women usually do not hop in and out of bed. Where for a boy of the same age sex is more of a conquest, away to satisfy raging hormones.
The odds are against you marring the boy you give your virginity to, so be selective as to who you chose to be your first. Make sure you find someplace you can have your first sexual experience that is safe, relaxing and that you will be undisturbed. You should be on birth control for at least 30 days and always use a condom.
As someone who is old enough to be your grandparent I should be telling you to wait. I am sure your parents have already given you that advice and it is good advice. It is also hypocritical of most of us as most all of us my age and younger engaged in sex long before we were married. What I will say is there are ways of satisfying the sexual urge without having intercourse. There is masturbation, mutual masturbation, which is generally apart of foreplay, BJ’s and HJ’s. These forms of sex should be adequate for now to satisfy both you and your boyfriend without running the possibility of an unwanted pregnancy. Remember no birth control is 100% effective. End of lecture.
Before you make your decision please review the following website.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location).
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Sex sometimes hurts the first time, but it's not a guarantee. The more gentle and attentive your partner is, the more likely the experience will be a good one. The more scared you are, the more tense you'll be, so the odds increase that it'll hurt due to your fear.
I'm going to suggest you practice breathing calmly while visualizing the act. Get comfortable with it and think very positive thoughts. Communicate to your boyfriend your concern about pain and your need for his patience and awareness: that if you want him to stop or go slower, you need him to pay attention to that and do as you say.
Spend time looking at yourself naked in the mirror and come up with five things about your body that you like. Lay down in the tub in the bathroom and take a pocket mirror and aim it down so you can see what your vagina looks like. Get used to it and tell yourself how attractive it'll be to your boyfriend when he finally gets to see it.
If you don't masturbate, you will want to start. Get familiar with what feels good to you so that you can communicate it to your boyfriend.
Girls often are uncomfortable because we have to see about 1,000 images a day of other women being sexy and we don't look like air-brushed creatures. We're lead to believe we're not good enough all the time. You're totally not alone.
What I've just described to you are tools to help you not just get ready for sex, but to truly make yourself ready to be a sensual person who knows her body and appreciates her awesome self.
You'll know when you're ready. Make sure you have condoms handy when the time does come. Best to plan ahead once you're aware your time has come, so that you won't get caught unprepared. No shame in being smart.
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Well every feels slightly uncomfortable with their body- nobody is perfect. The fact of the matter is that if your boyfriend loves you, it doesn't matter whatyour body is like, like you said, you are comfortable with t, so that's all that really matters.
To make sex less painful- you should spend quite a bit of time on foreplay. Which is before sex- stroking, kissing, licking etc. Fingering yourself will stretch the opening, and will make sex less painful. Start with one finger, then two, then three. Do it slowly and use plenty of lubrication. Also your boyfriend can try and finger you also.
Hope I helped :)
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