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VIRGIN ..turn on??
20 ..female.
I'm beginning to be quite confused about most guys being turned on about a girl being a virgin.
In my mind, a guy would be turned off because you're not experienced. And everyone says, a guy would looove to take a virginity from a girl but I would see it the exact opposite. Wouldn't a guy be afraid to take a girls virginity because he would think the girl would then become attached, and maybe even annoying/obsessive? That is, if he's not you're boyfriend.
I don't know maybe I look at it wrong. But everytime I tell a guy i'm a virgin i'm always thinking they're like .. "this girl can't get any?" or she's not experienced ..definitely doesn't know what shes doing. And i'm a pretty girl, comfortable with my body so yes i've had so many opportunities to do it, just not going to. Just things like that and feeling like it ruins everything. But people tell me most of the time its a turn on for guys.
Can someone please help explain this to me!?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Virginity?
The short answer to your question is twofold. The turn on to the high school boy is the conquest. The turn on to the mature man is the love and respect he feels by receiving your greatest gift.
You have to admit that a 20 year old virgin is rare these days. That is not to say there is anything wrong with your choice to remaining a virgin until you meet the right guy or until you decide to marry. The reason for you remaining a virgin is really no one’s business then your own; unless of course it is one made out of fear. The fear of getting pregnant is not the fear I am thinking of. I’m thinking of irrational type fears that prevent you from having sex. Could you fear having a guy see you naked? This would be an example of an unnatural fear. If you have an unnatural fear then I would suggest seeing a therapist to work through whatever this fear may be. Otherwise enjoy life and when you are ready, whenever your plan calls for you to have sex; then follow your plan.
As for the reason guys obsess over virgins; there are two. First, there are the immature ones who think more with the head in their pants then the one between their shoulder blades. For this type it is all about conquest and notches on their gun belt. You meet this guy more in high school then in most any other place as it is the bragging rights they are looking for first, lust is second and there is really no third one for once they have convinced you to let them have your virginity they start looking for their next conquest.
The second reason is far more complicated and complex. There are of course the Cultural and Religious aspects to be considered although I do not think this is what you are asking about. The more mature boy does not engage in sex as sport and see a woman’s virginity for what it is something to be cherished.
I cannot think of any young boy who has not spent his teen aged years trying to have sex, it is a hormonal thing for him. He needs to ejaculate to quiet the raging hormones, thus he looks for a female willing to accommodate him. It is a game for him and his buddies to see who can have sex the most often add extra points for the guy that takes the girls virginity. The more mature man is looking for a life mate and is not looking for someone who has spent her teenage years sleeping with every guy she has dated. This man values your virginity because you waited for him, because you feel comfortable with him and that you have a love and respect for him that is equal to his for you.
The parent and grandparent in me lend me to offer this advice. You can only give your virginity to one man. When you are ready make sure it is with someone you respect, who most importantly respects you and hopefully someone you love and loves you. Sex between consenting adults is a wonderful thing. By consenting I do not just me that both partners agree to having sex, I mean that you are doing so without violating your own principals. One can consent and then feel dirty because they violated their own principals.
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Its a turn on because guys like sex when the girl is "tighter". And that exactly what a virgin is. Not stretched out. So the turn on here is that the guy gets in hopes that if you do have sex, he will be in great pleasure.
Sometimes the boy gets confused as to why girls are virginas though. Only because they think of why the girl hasnt had sex. The first thing that goes through there mind is..."is this girl a prude? is she scared of action? Is she waiting for marriage?...so guys are a little timid to throw themselves out there after hearing that because they dont want to be turned down.
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Here, it's really simple.
Guys want one thing: sex. it is a natural fact and it's always always on their minds. Always.
So don;t 'give it away' when it's really a virtue to be proud of. (cos it's way funner for boyz than girlz) plus any girl could becme attached, annoying and miserably a pain in the ass BECAUSE OF ANYTHING.
You are a virgin. You won't always be. It'll happen and the more it happens, the less you'll want it- maybe not. Not till later :}}}
When you tell a guy you're a virgin, you're starting a conversation that's not necessary, it's your virginity and nobody else's business.
xx rhona
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Immature guys are all about conquest. They see it as an accomplishment. Usually it's not that it's a turn on, it's the accomplishment of being "first!".
Guys you're going to be into at 20 are alot less likey to care, or it's going to be a small red flag. Simply because, if you're dating guys a year or three older those guys are likely going to be looking for either just sex, or an adult sexual relationship.
The reason it's often a red flag is the value placed on virginity. Girls like this are the general minority, but it happens. A few years back I was with a girl who was 21 and who'd just lost her virginity to the guy she'd dated before me, and broken up a month later (he moved for school). She just hadn't found a guy she liked enough to be comfy with sex, and had been dating for less than a year prior.
Other girls view their virginity as a "gift" to be bestowed upon a worthy man, and it's the "gift" part that people start objecting to. Sex is a normal part of a healthy adult relationship, absolutely required for long term stability, kids, and maintenance of love and passion. But a not small enough segment of girls views sex as a gift that the guy they're with should be thankful for when and if he gets it. When a girl is a virgin for too long, people wonder if she's waiting until marriage (something few people want to do anymore) or if she's one of the above girls who wants herself and her vag to be worshipped.
So long as you're not in either category, it likely won't matter in the slightest when you decide you're ready. Be up front about what you believe and want from sex. That's the best advice. That way, if a guy doesn't mesh you can go your separate ways before anyone gets hurt. I'd honestly tell someone by the third date in your shoes if I were dating people seriously. At least bring it up. "I'm a virgin, this is what I think about sex, what do you think?" kinda thing.
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Well I think guys think its a turn on because they know that the girl havent been with anyone before them. They know that the girl is clean and havent been fooling around with anyone else. Also guys like a challenge. not necessarily gurls that can give it up easily. Its also fun knowing that the girl is a virgin and seeing if they can get with them. Also most guys like to take control so if the girl is not experienced the guy can take lead. thats how i see it. so i think guys think its a turn on. hope that gives u some idea.
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