How can i find someones weaknesses and get into their head? I'm not trying to be rude when I say this, but if you're going to answer my question saying that this is wrong and immature and that karma will get me than please don't bother responding. Thanks.
NinjaNeer answered Friday August 6 2010, 12:37 pm: What do you do?
First, you look inside your own head. Find your own weaknesses. Find out why you feel the need to hurt someone else so deeply. Find out what makes you so insecure that you need to make someone else's life miserable.
Then you go to see a counselor, or you talk to your mom, write in your journal or talk to a really good friend. Try and work it out. Someone's been mean to you in the past and you want to get back at them? Think about what's changed since then, and how you'd only be stooping to their level and lower if you were to retaliate. Think of better ways to deal with the feelings you're having. Feel satisfied with yourself for being the bigger person and not allowing petty differences to turn you into someone else.
I'm going to share a little something about my grade school days, for your entertainment and consideration.
In Grade 5, I was a chubby kid, but not that fat. I wore glasses, had a bad haircut and loved to read, hated sports because I was uncoordinated. I had a weird laugh and trouble controlling my temper. I was a prime bullying target. I was placed in a full-time enrichment class, so everyone in the class was really, really smart. Like, genius level. I'd dealt with bullies before, but knowing that they were dumber than I was helped. When their only abuse is "You're stupid", it's easy to blow it off.
These kids were something different from anything I'd ever dealt with before. They could get into your head, find your weaknesses and exploit them like nothing else. I was given the nickname "Obese Chipmunk" by the boys in the class because I was chubby and laughed weird. They found ways to work it into school assignments (presentations in front of the class, etc), they harassed me on the bus. I ended up with an eating disorder which I still have to this day. I was miserable. By the time I was 11 years old, I was having suicidal thoughts and hoarding food in my room.
Fortunately, I got out of that class after Grade 6. I had few brushes with bullies after that point, but I still bear the scars from it.
Do I hate the people who did this to me? No! In fact, I had some of them as Facebook friends. I have seen them in public places and smiled and reminisced about old times. I'm able to let things go now, because all that it does if you don't is eat you from the inside. What good does it do to blame everyone else for my misfortunes? None, because I can't turn the tables if someone else holds all the cards.
You need to learn to forgive and forget. Forgive the person who did this to you. Remember that everyone makes mistakes. They may not see the error of their ways now, but later in life it will come back to haunt them, one way or another. They may be upset at how awful they were. They may have to deal with people shunning them because they never grew out of their attitude. Look with pity on a person who plays mind games, but don't become them. [ NinjaNeer's advice column | Ask NinjaNeer A Question ]
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