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Dorming life at umass lowell
am going to start college in the fall and am going to dorm there. i was wondering if i can go and visit my family every day, will they let me?. am going to be in umass lowell.
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You might think you want to visit your parents every day, but once you get into the college routine, you're gonna love it and though you'll miss your family, IT'S NECESSARY so that you can grow and become independent. It hurts, but so does EVERYTHING that teaches us lessons, remember that. Pain=lessons learned.
It's a monumental move forward in your life; try to embrace it, read about how you (and your parents!) are going to feel, and take it from a mom whose son left for college last year and whose daughter is leaving this August for college: Mom's gonna be home crying while you're in your dorm crying but neither of you will cry for long since you;ll both get used to it. Go honme for holidays and ENJOY YOUR FAM; butin the meantime, STUDY STUDY STUDY and go home w/good grades and you'll be a hero!
Good luck sweetie. Being scared is normal, but it's time for you to rely on YOU. Whatever doesn't kill you, friend, will make you stronger. Be TOUGH; you can do it!!!!!!!!!
xxRhona
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The whole point of moving out is to move out. Sure, you can visit your parents, but you have to start being independent soon. Eventually you'll move out of your parents' house for good and have a house of your own. Might as well start getting used to it.
But like someone else said. You'll miss out on the college experience. You definitely shouldn't avoid visiting your family, but I would only go home once a month, or maybe once every two months.
--Jack
(18/m)
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If by "they" you mean the college, not your family, thy won't care at all.
But I would strongly suggst that you do not do that, at least for the first month or so. If you can always retreat to home where you know everyone and it feells safe and comfortable, you will miss out on getting to knnow the people at college at the tme when everyone is new. Make t he transition, and then go back home for a visit.
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Your question took me by surprise as I had never thought of someone being "forced" to stay on campus.
I did a lot of searching for this including reading what feels like hundreds of blogs at the UMass Lowell website. While I cannot give you an answer that is absolutely certain I can tell you what I think...
I read loads of blogs about people heading to the mall after classes, going to sporting events, etc. I do not know if these people were freshman or upper classmen but if you can go to the mall for a few hours... why couldnt you go home for a few hours?
I am in college myself but I am HARDLY a freshman. I think I have been in college for 70 some years (im only in my 30's but it feels like forever). There are at a minimum 5 universities close enough to where I live that people take classes and commute home. There are 2 unis within 10 miles of my house and "back when I was a freshman" they did not have a housing requirement though that could have changed over the years. Even with the housing though the students were never "locked" in their dorms. You take a class from 8 am until 10 am, another from 10:30 to 12, another from 2pm until 3:15 and then you are done. The rest of the day is yours! If you want to go home at 3:30 and have dinner with your parents and then come back before bedtime... or as far as I can see if you even wanted to spend the night with your parents, have mom or dad drop you off in time for your 8 am class... I mean... do they do roll call before lights out?
I can tell you that there is a big difference between a student right out of high school and an adult learner. As a student just out of high school you ask questinos. Can I? May I? Is it okay if I? As an adult learner you say "Here's the thing... I am a devoted learner. I get good grades and work my butt off... but I DO actually have a life beyond these school walls and if something more important comes up you are going to have to deal with me being out for the day". Now this could mean that you come in to school for an evening for a makeup session or you have to cancel plans for the weekend... but an adult learner does not ask "can I go home to see my family?" they say "my family is more important than this institution... When I am done with class for the day I am going home to see my parents for a couple of hours. If you need me... I'll be back by 7".
Listen... I don't know much about Umass Lowell... Im from Ohio. But I can tell you that college is a very scary thing to START. But once you are there for a few days, maybe a week or two you should get into a routine and may discover between classes, studying, and new friends you dont have time to head home every day. Maybe every weekend, maybe 2 or 3 days a week. If you are there for a while and still don't feel a flow, are homesick, talk to mom and dad. If you spent your life growing up going to Billy Bobs pizza parlor and you have now been at school for a couple of months and your friends ask you to join them and you spend the ENTIRE time you are there fighting back tears because you would rather be back at your dorm crying and you just wish you were home... you definitely need to talk to your parents. There may be something beyond homesickness going on... you may need to take a semester off or you may not like your program of study and it is making you miserable... you may not have the social life you had hoped for...
You obviously have concerns about being a new college student but the fact you are asking if you can visit home everyday... you obviously have a lifeline outside of school- people who you love and who love you. Discuss everything you feel with them because you shouldnt be miserable at school.
I was never miserable going to campus. I love what I am studying... it has just taken me a long time to get where I am because of basic life situations. My husband went away to college 100 years ago and was miserable every second of every day the entire semester. He never fell into a routine... he never met anyone he could be friends with... he was rooming next door to his own brother and could not get comfortable enough to enjoy it... and to this day he recalls it as the worst 4 months of his life!!! He has eventually gone on to get his masters degree and loves what he is doing but he does not have a master's in accounting which is what he was at that college for. It just wasn't "right" for him. I loved almost everything about my campus. I love studying nursing, I love the social atmosphere, making friends, a sense of belonging outside of my home...
It will be ok. I remember how sick I was my very first day of class. That was all it took though. I realized after the first day that it was no big deal. Everyone was so much more mature than the jerks back in high school and I could really enjoy myself without having to worry about the "high school" pranks.
I wish you the best of luck. College is going to be great- once you get past the first day jitters :) and if it isnt... open up to mom and dad. And one thing I like to tell anyone asking me questions about college... EVERYONE changes their major!!! If you are studying something for a year or two and realize you hate it but have learned to absolutely love something else but dont know how to tell mom and dad... it is OK!!! I started in nursing, switched to psychology, then pharmacy, and realized nursing is where I wanted to be all along. I am loving every second of my studies (and an thrilled I am on the cusp of finishing my degree after ALL THESE YEARS LOL) My husband started in accounting, switched to computer science, then to english which lead him to library science which is what he got his masters in and loves it!!!
My friend was a teacher and is now studying respiratory therapy... my pastor was a school teacher before going into ministry. Another friend was a psychology major before switching to education... "they're ALL doing it" so it is ok.
And I think that is all my fingers can take for one post! And looking back I still couldn't answer your question... but I hope my rambling helped. You sound nervous. You sound normal! You sound like you have a loving family who you don't want to loose in the hustle and bustle of college life. Good for you :)
Need more rambling, shoot me a post anytime!
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Usually dorms are at will entry. Might be different there, but when I lived in the Dorms it was essentially an apartment. If I wanted to leave at 2 am I could. If I wanted to leave for a week I could. They didn't really keep tabs on you much at all.
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