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Sex Without a Condom???
15/f
My boyfriend and I are going to have sex and when I told him I had just gotten on the pill, the first thing he says is how excited he is because he won't have to use a condom. When he said this, I had no idea how to respond because I've always been under the impression that with sex, a condom is ALWAYS a must for protection. My first time was last winter break when I was raped. Since then, I've been tested (clean) and only had safe-sex once with my current boyfriend. I know the fact that I'm having sex with my boyfriend at such a young age may seem "slutty" after such a short period of time but being raped, I never thought I'd have any desire to have sex again. Plus, now that I've done it, I'm much more open to it. But, I'm not sure how open I am to sex without a condom. He's 18 and I'm his first and we're currently not seeing anyone else....I just don't know what to think about sex without a condom. I want this to be special but I'm just not sure. Because I'm his first and we're both clean, sex without a condom shouldnt have any risk.....right?
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Even if your on the pill, the pill can prevent pregnancy but there's still a slim chance you can get pregnant without a condom. If you want to be completley safe I would still use a condom, you are younger then him, and having a baby is alot of responsibility.
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Yes, it's relatively safe, but I had a friend that got pregnant on the pill, wen she had sex without a condom. If you want to completely ensure that you're protected, use a condom anyway. He may not want to, but it's really the best thing to do if you want to be careful.
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First, stop excusing yourself.
Point blank, you went through a trauma that involved sex. Having good, loving, emotionally connected sex is part of the healing process in adults to some degree. This is why it's so hard on children, because loving adult sex is entirely out of their reach, and the experience is nothing but a foreign scar on their psyche, which they have no real context to understand or deal with.
Being pulled unwillingly into an adult world, you're attempting to step into that adult hood. You should not disrespect yourself for that.
I would encourage continued condom use, but there are other forms of birth control which can be used in conjunction with the pills which are equally effective, or within a few percentage points, some available over the counter.
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There's a good website for information. Read down through all of the types and stuff, but I'd also tell you that until he's actually been tested, you shouldn't take an 18 year old's claim of virginity on faith.
For now, tell him that condoms are a choice you've made to protect yourself and to feel comfortable with the risks you're taking by having sex in the first place. Tell him that you understand what he wants, but that right now is not the time for it. If and when that changes, you will let him know, and he shouldn't bring it up again.
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Sex is always risky. Period. End of story.
We use tools to reduce that risk, like condoms and birth control.
Obviously, you are more protected if you use both.
If you are not open to sex without a condom - now, or ever - speak up. Many, many couples use both birth control and condoms. Even adult couples.
Many people, especially guys, fall into the idea that they don't need to use condoms anymore once they are using birth control. They are dead wrong.
Tell him you that just because you wanted to go on birth control, doesn't mean you need to be ready (ever) to stop using condoms. Tell him as much. Insist on the protection you desire.
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Please please please use a condom.
My friend was on the pill AND a condom. He didn't pull out and she got pregnant.
I know it's stupid, to be on the pill & have to use a condom and pull out, but that's the safest way to do it. With my ex, I did that every time for 8 months and never had a pregnancy scare.
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Are you ready to deal with an accidental pregnancy?
If you're not, then you should be using a condom.
The reason I exist is because my mom was on the pill and it failed. The reason one of my good high school friends dropped out at age 15 is because she was on the pill and it failed. The reason I have a fourth new cousin on the way is because my uncle's girlfriend was on the pill, and it failed.
I'm not saying the pill doesn't work, but it's not infallible. At your age, you want infallible. You want iron-clad guarantee that you won't get pregnant.
Yes, you're both clean, but until you're ready to deal with the possibility of a pregnancy, you should be doing everything in your power to avoid it.
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