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How to tell him you want a baby
My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year now. We have had sex for 6 months now with protection (condoms AND birth control pills). We're both 20 years old so we're out of high school and we live together in his mom's basement right now.
I really want to have a baby and start a family with him. I want us to get married and have a nice little life, you know? Well, I heard that it's better to have kids when you're young and able to do things with them so I think 20 sounds reasonable.
I haven't talked to my boyfriend about having children. When we starting doing it together he said all kids scare the hell out of him so he wanted to make sure we were extra safe by always using 2 forms of birth control (hence the pill & condom). I didn't say anything about it because I do want children.
I feel like my body is screaming at me now to do it. I want to tell him to not put a condom on next time and I want to stop taking my pills. I want to have a baby so bad.
How do I tell him without freaking him out? I wouldn't do something stupid like "accidently forget" my pill or something so I NEED to tell him. I need him to say he wants to have kids with me because I love him but I'm afraid he's going to hate me. What do I do? How can I tell him I want a baby?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
First I would ask yourself if you want to raise a child in a basement. Maybe look at your situation. How stable is it for a child? Talk to your boyfriend about it openly one night. Males mature slower than females, maybe he is not ready to be a dad. Read up on child health and development, maybe talk to some parents who had kids at the age of 20 and see what they say about it. I understand the overwhelming need to love and nurture, so if all else fails get a puppy to take care of but I would seriously look at your life and situation as part of the decision process of having a child. Good luck!
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What? No. Not no but hell no.
Not about the discussion, but about acting on it afterwards.
My wife and I are young. Early 20s, just a bit past you. Been together five years though. Baby bug hit us both a while ago.
We're waiting. We've got our own apartment (barely) etc etc but there's more to being parents than just being a loving mother or father. There's planning for the kid, preparing yourself to provide them with the start all children deserve.
The first step in that is independence. You can't raise a kid in your boyfriend's parent's basement. And you want marriage too. Give yourself a few years as newly weds before you start pushing baby.
You aren't ready. My wife and I go through the same thing you are, the desire to be unsafe and take risks, to get started. It's not any wiser for us than it would be for you.
The biological clock is a loud alarm bell. Ignore it for now. Your body doesn't understand college fund, or mortgage, or your own need to finish an education. It doesn't understand mom's basement or "we've only been dating a year and we aren't married yet" or even "what my boyfriend wants and is ready for in his own life"
It is for your mind to impose such limits.
That doesn't mean you have to deal with this alone. If you reassure him that your number one priority is that you both have kids when you're both ready for it and have agreed that it's time, you should be able to talk to him about this. Just talk to him about what's going through your head after that.
Be prepared for him not to get it. Guys at 20 are usually focused on other things. But you need to trust him that he's willing to listen.
Like I said, just let him listen after you assure him that there's zero chance of an "accident baby"
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I did it at 22, Didn't work the way i wanted it to. I had a great support system with my family, but finacially it was and still is hard. My daughter is 15 and my ex finally decided to do the right thing. unfortunatly to my demise she moved in with him and his wife. We were VERY CLOSE AND NEVER SAW IT COMING. Now the little girl i idolized doesn't talk to me for weeks on end. It breaks my heart everyday and I didn't do anything wrong, but give up 15 years of my life for a child that doesn't care. I remarried and have a great life, she was very much a part of it and now she's not. I don't think i would do it again. It hurts tooooo much. not fair to her 10 year old bro. and 5 year old sis. They don't understand why she doesn't call or visit them. Think very hard, you can't go back. Good luck.. If you need to talk you know how to reach thru.....
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Okay, I re read the question. There is no easy way to tell him what you want. My advice to you is this: Tell him what you want. Pour your heart out to him. Tell him what it means to you to have a baby. Give him a few days to process it. And if still isnt willing, then you have a few options. A: accept it. or B: start re thinking about the relationship with this guy. You guys want different things. Or C: Try to convince him that kids are not that bad. Maybe you guys can together offer to babysit a friends kid. Maybe it will be a pleasureable experience and he might change his mind. Good luck :)
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